An Open Letter To The Friends Who Don't Try

An Open Letter To The Friends Who Don't Try

I am starting to get really tired of always having to text first and initiate plans.
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I think in college a lot of people fall in to this mentality that the more friends you have, the better. However, I find myself being quite the opposite. I like having my close-knit group of friends and being able to go to them for anything. With that said, it does get frustrating when I find myself always being the one to initiate plans with certain people I am friends with. Not only that, but I also find that if I do not text them, I will not hear from them for several weeks.

Now, at this point, you might be thinking that these people I am referring to just don’t really want to be friends with me. Honestly, I have had that thought once or twice as well. However, contrary to popular belief, these are the same people that when I see them we act like we are best friends; we vent to each other, laugh continuously and share some amazing memories together. When we are together, everything is awesome and as hard as it is to believe, the feelings are genuine. So, did I just pick friends that are bad communicators? Or simply really busy? I am honestly not sure. Something I do know is I feel like a lot of people have either been in this situation or been on the other end. Thus, I want to give some advice to those on the other end.

Being someone’s friend is way more than just posting Instagram pictures with them and sending them well wishes on their birthday. It is about being there for that person and letting the know that you care about them. It is about replying to their text messages and phone calls in a timely fashion and recognizing that it’s not cool to continuously use the excuse that you are busy. We are all in college and we are all busy.

Likewise, part of being someone’s friend is making them a priority. I am not saying place your friends on top of school or work because that is not necessarily very wise. I am saying that when school and work are over, going on your phone and checking in on someone you claim that you care about is important. If there is one thing that I have learned about relationships it is that they are never successful if they are one sided.

If there is one thing that I want you to take away from this article, it is that if you truly care about someone and if you truly want them in your life in the long run, you have to put the effort in to maintain your relationship with them. You have to make them a priority and, at some point, recognize where you might have made mistakes throughout your relationship. Otherwise, those people, like me, who are continuously reaching out and trying to make your relationship work, will stop one day. And honestly, writing that last line makes me sad because I really do want to make it work.

Cover Image Credit: SheKnows

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Ended Up In A Family Group Chat...With All Of My Roommates

It was probably one of the most unexpected things that happened to me.

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I know, unbelievable, but hear me out. I didn't expect it at all either. I came to college feeling very reserved and sheltered in. I met my roommates, one who had a boyfriend. They were very very lovey-dovey to the point where it felt like witnessing a drama every passing moment. It was very cute.

Even though I wasn't very expressive myself, my roommates made sure to show me lots of love and give me support and comfort. Slowly, I warmed up to the others and before long we were having face mask nights, Uno challenges, reading and watching creepy trends, truth or dare, ramen nights, scary stories, and so much more. It felt like a family.

One day, when my roommate was being lovey-dovey with her boyfriend, I joked that they were like parents already. That joke then extended on to me and the other roommate being their children and our neighbors to being the grandma and aunt. It was a spontaneous sort of naming system but it came together really well and slowly, everything fell into place. Suddenly it became so established; we developed a family group chat and would occasionally address each other by our family titles. We even started playing into our roles more.

My roommate and her boyfriend started becoming more parental and taking care of my other roommate and I. I started becoming more carefree around my roommates and we would all stay in contact via our Snapchat group named "G.N.O.A.T" at first (greatest neighborhoods of all time) but changed to "family."

It was probably one of the most unexpected things that happened to me at the beginning of my college career but I'm also very grateful that it happened. Because of that, I was able to open up with my roommates and neighbors. I was able to be more honest and slowly feel a deeper kinship with everyone. Before I came to college, I didn't even know if I was going to have good terms with my neighbors but after this experience, I never expected my neighbors and roommates to label me as family, even if it's only a facetious name for now.

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