To the Friends I Met in Therapy

To the Friends I Met in Therapy

"We meet the people we’re supposed to when the time is right” - Alyson Noel
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To the strongest people I know,

I met you during the weakest point of my life. I had given up on life, myself, my faith, and my happiness. I met you during the time where I genuinely lost the will to live and to keep fighting. I had been through hell and back, and so had you.

When you go to therapy, especially in a group setting, you sometimes feel intimidated. It’s unfamiliar and you’re forced to open up in front of a bunch of strangers who you have no idea what they’re like or why they are there. At first you always compare yourself to one another. Oh, she’s skinnier or prettier. Oh, she isn’t messed up enough to be here. Her home life seems fine. Maybe it’s because I’m the most messed up. I have to be more messed up than them to prove I belong here. And you have a lot of questions: Are they going to judge me? Are they going to make fun of me? Are they mean? God, I hope they aren’t mean. Will they like me? What is this place even like? You worry about who you are and what you look like or what they think of you, even in the place where you should feel the least amount of judgement.

I had hit my rock bottom. Nine hours a week, you’d all sit in a room with me. We, together, suffered, cried, broke down, got angry, hurt, learned and most importantly, healed, all while being strangers at first. We survived. We always have, no matter how many times we didn’t want to. We would do stupid things, or laugh to much, or challenge authority too much, or talk over one another. I’d bang on the walls to try to get my friends attention in the other room. Meal time always made us #triggered, but we made it fun. We would do our mindfulness activities to try to ground us after a huge laughing fit, only to laugh again the moment we made eye-contact. We made the most uncomfortable and hard topics fun and entertaining because we knew that that’s just how we’d do it. That’s how we got through.

In such a short amount of time, we all got to know each other so deeply, so intimately, more so than any of our home friends. We got to see sides of each other we didn’t share with anyone else, sides we were ashamed of, sides that scared us. We were our most vulnerable with each other. We became good friends. We became each others rocks, our biggest supporters, our ultimate venting buddy, our validating companions. But it was more than that. It was family.

And family sticks together through thick and thin. Keeping in touch after graduating from therapy is great, until things get scary. It gets so hard when you watch your closest friends suffer. It gets so hard when you watch them relapse. It gets so hard when you hear them talk so poorly of themselves. It gets so hard when you have to stay up with them all night because you don’t know if they’re going to make it through or not. You’re constantly on high alert because you’re never sure if you’ll lose them. But like I said in the beginning, we always do make it through. We come out stronger, as individuals and as friends. We learn from each other, we admire each other, we offer our support and advice and our help. We’ve been there. We know what the pain is like. And we know you’d do the same thing if it was another one of us.

There’s so many amazing memories and jokes I have with these girls. Like, no physical contact. Or things like, “stop teaching people to whiten their teeth with banana peels”. Or, who the employee of the month is and which therapist we hate the most, which we always agreed on. And we can’t forget the drama. Who likes who? And who did what with who in the bathroom? Who’s dating? BRB I got to go pee in a cup. Who texted who last night? Oh, I mean, we don’t have each other’s contact info. Of course not…

I have met the strongest people I have ever known through therapy. I have grown with them and I have grown from them. I have met my closest friends as we bonded over topics people usually don’t talk about the first time they meet. They have seen me at my lows, at my highs, and when I’m actually almost stable (but am I ever really?). These girls have become some of my closest friends, and I love them to pieces. I am so thankful for them in my life. I wish we met under better circumstances, but I think God put us together when we needed each other the most. I think that things happen for a reason and I think my journey through life, leading to recovery, would not have been as rewarding or successful without you guys. Even if we lose contact over the years, I will always be your shoulder to cry on, your companion, your friend who will drive to your house at 2:30 in the morning just to make you laugh. I will be that friend who relates to you, who cares about you, who listens to you, who validates you, and who loves you.

You aren’t my friends. You guys are my family. And I can't thank you enough for all you did and do for me.

Love Always,

The person you helped the most

#phgalz #eetfam

Cover Image Credit: https://memegenerator.net/instance/43278666

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10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter
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I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.

https://secure.img1-ag.wfcdn.com/im/d5ea3c03/resize-h2000-p1-w2000%5Ecompr-r85/3021/30217778/Express+6+Volt+Cordless+Bagless+Handheld+Vacuum.jpg

One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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The 5 Types of Retail Customers

A run-down on the many forms of customers you either encounter as a retail employee or are guilty of being.

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We all get summer jobs or seasonal jobs at some place to get that extra cash when we find ourselves broke after spending $300+ on Ubers/Lyfts in under a month (possibly speaking from personal experience). This in turn led me to broaden my job searching horizons and led me to work at a fast food chain that goes by the name of 'Salsaritas' (ironic since my nickname is Salsa, also was not intentional) and currently a retail store at a local mall. So, I guess it's safe to say that I have come across a lot of different people with a whole lot of personality. Working in these types of industries, it can sometimes be really hard and pretty interesting. So voila, here we go:

1. The Always Angry Customer

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This is the customer that is constantly angry. They walk in pissed off and they want everyone else to know that they are pissed off. This type of customer also uses at least one of these following sentences: "Let me talk to your manager. Who's your manager?" or the "How long have you been working here for?" Honestly, there's not much you can do to help them other than try to just do what they ask for and get them the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

2. The Messy Customer

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Easily one of the most annoying types of customers (sorry). This person will walk and run their hands through an entire counter or rack full of perfectly folded clothes, unfold them, and then just leave them on the counter or on the floor. They also have the "it's fine, it's their job to fold them" mentality. Honestly though, how hard is it to put a jacket or shirt back on a hanger? And if you're this type of customer please, please, please, put what you found back where it came from. Sincerely, every retail employee ever.

3. The Super Nice Customer

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This customer is god-send and thank god that they exist. They are the ones who you can just tell are genuinely good people. New at work and don't know how the hell to ring up a customer at a register? No worries, they'll wait there patiently, smile at you, and occasionally tell you that "you're doing great sweetie." They treat you like you're not just a retail employee and at the end of the day, you just wanna give them a hug for making your day feel less shitty.

4. The Talkative Customer

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There's two parts to this one. This type of customer is either talking on the phone while you're ringing them up at the register or is just trying to get to know literally everything there is to know about you. If they're on the phone, it's impossible to know if they're responding to you or to the person who they're on the phone with. The worst part is when they hold up one finger to signal to you that they'll be just a minute and leave you to just awkwardly stand in front of them while trying not to listen to their entire conversation. The other part is when they just want to get to know you which is cute and all until they're just trying to analyze your entire background, where you're from, what you're studying, etc. Luckily if you're like me who wasn't born in the U.S. with a very ethnic name, you just scored yourself a talkative customer. Well done and good luck getting out of the conversation!

5. The Last Minute Customer

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Imagine that you just did an 8 hour shift and right when you're about to clock out and head out to go home, you see a customer walking in literally a minute or two before the whole mall is about to close. They'll probably ask you if you're about to close even though they can see that there's not a single person inside there other than you. They'll also probably tell you that they know exactly what they're looking for. It's never true and get ready for that OT. But hey, on the bright-side, you'll get a fat pay-check.


So, the next time you find yourself at a mall...Remind yourself to pick up something you might've accidentally dropped, keep in mind that workers are human beings too, and kindness goes a long way because at the end of the day, that employee could be one of your loved ones.

Until next time,

Salsa.


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