I can personally attest to the fact that I would not be alive without my friends. Many people could take this as some form of figurative language, but it's the simple truth. My friends are my life. I understand that they are humans with their own wants and needs. I understand that they have lives of their own and that they have different social circles that they are a part of, but most of all, I understand that they love me. People say that you should always return to your roots and that your friends can't be your roots because they are forever changing, however I do not find that to be true. True friendship manifests itself in an unexplainable phenomenon between two people. This does not mean that the two people cannot have individual bonds with others, but I'm going to focus on one person, me.

First off, by nature I am a very compassionate person deep down under my cold, emotionless shell of an exterior. This is not because of some instinct to be closed off and emotionally unavailable. I have a natural predisposition for an aloof personality. I prefer to be alone. I prefer to handle emotions, events, traumas, etc. by myself. I consider this strength. I consider this power and dominance over my own life.

Secondly, I am a strong individualist. I feel that is if I want to do something then there is no one in my way to stop me but myself. I'm not saying that I'm going to commit crimes and disregard basic human moral standards but I am bringing up the point that I believe that everyone has a motive. Everyone has a reason to do the things they do, and no one can honestly judge someone based on their own beliefs. This mentality gives me a strong laissez faire form of governing when it comes to all of my friendships. That doesn't mean that I don't care about them and who they hang out with, but it does mean that I clearly understand that I am not their sole purpose in life. I am not their charge. They are allowed to have other friends. They are allowed to make friends and best friends and have boyfriends and girlfriends. They are people too, and I understand that they are allowed to live their lives because I would want the same mentality for me.

Thirdly, friendships are not forced. It is possible to say "I want to be best friends with Daisy" but that doesn't mean that the friendship will manifest. Friendships are born from some sort of cosmic understanding of someone else to the fullest extent one human can know another on a mental and emotional level. It's about the person who you for some reason feel comfortable with telling your deepest secrets like they're nothing and who you call crying in the middle of the night. It's about the person that you stay up worrying about because you saw a different look in their eyes at school that day. True friendships are not categorized as such until you realize that this person is my person. These people are my people. The people I will turn to in my times of need because I love them with all of my heart no matter what emotion I may be feeling towards them at the time.

I have seven friends that I will love with all of my heart for the rest of time. Some do not even live in my city while others are right down the street from me. That doesn't change the fact on how any of the following influence my personal beliefs of how a true friendship works.

1. Honesty

“To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.” ― Charles Dickens

The beginning of a friendship begins to truly develop with two people being open with each other. This does not necessarily mean that you share all your secrets with someone you just met, but once you begin to relax around said person then that is a sign of trust. Trust is key to any friendship. It first develops with thoughts such as: "Why did I tell him that? He doesn't want to hear that." Then as you begin to get more comfortable there are no bounds with what you trust this person with. Although I have known this particular one of the seven since childhood, I can genuinely say that our bond is everlasting. There is never a point in time where I feel like our connection is lost because we are truly honest with each other. We tend to be honest with our feelings, our events and our advice. Perhaps she gives me my best advice due to her honesty. But who better to give advice than a Mama Duck ;). In this instance, you know that what you say is confidential and you feel it in your heart that your words will never be maliciously used against you on purpose. This comfort is needed by all humans. Everyone needs someone they can trust because no one is ever alone in this world.

2. Acceptance and Understanding

“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” ― Marvin J. Ashton

As you begin to know a person you may find that many of their beliefs and actions conflict with your view on life. This instance does not warrant a dismissal of friendship but a chance to learn. From a personal account I can say that I had quite the shy, lone wolf personality before I met one of my best friends. This girl showed me a world beyond the computer screen and school life. She showed me a new way of life that I was terrified of at first. My fear was not because her life was bad but because her life was and still is so fast paced, so exciting, so..riveting to the senses in a much different way than mine is. Its something that I admire and love about her. She taught me to love myself and to open up to others and while she was teaching me I was teaching her. Just by association we were leeching off of each other's personalities and life forces. We were bonding into a symbiotic relationship. While this friendship was forming there was a third party involved. Another girl who's passion for life knew no bounds. If anyone asked us how we all became friends we honestly wouldn't be able to say because it just happened. Our personalities differ like earth, water and fire. Combined we are obnoxious and separate we are more powerful than we believe. Within the trio we had a cold, parental entity (me), a free spirit who blew through life as if each day was her last and soul that left each person she touched happier, healthier and more alive then ever before. I can say that our personalities do clash at times but we accept and understand our differences and use them to our advantage.

3. Psychological Intimacy

"They enveloped each other within the folds of their thoughts, holding each other with an intimacy no physical embrace could replicate, allowing their identities to merge once again. Their greatest comfort was a simple one: they were no longer alone. To know that you were with the one who cared for you, and who understood every fiber of your being, and who would not abandon you even in the most desperate of circumstances, that was the most precious relationship a person could have, and they both cherished it." — Christopher Paolini

He lives four hours away. He is my best friend and I love him with all my heart. Our contact relies via phone calls and text messages and the occasional out of the blue visit. I have always been exposed to long distance friendships, however this one is quite different. The fact that our mental and emotional relationship is so strong is completely riveting to my synapses. It's amazing how I can connect so much to someone that I see maybe once or twice out of the year. My love knows no bounds and I can't help but constantly think about how he's doing and how the world is treating him throughout most of my day. We are honest with each other to a fault and sometimes we say things we shouldn't but that doesn't stop us from trucking on. This proves that mental stimulation is even stronger than the physical presence of a friend. Closing your mind off is the opposite way to go when you have a problem. From experience, when I shut down hoping to keep my friends protected, I was doing the exact opposite. By closing myself off. By hiding my emotions and my feelings, my depression and anger, I was hurting them because I was virtually not providing nutrients to my roots. I cut off my own food supply and decided to let myself starve. However with long lasting imprints comes long lasting friends and they did everything in their power to make sure that didn't happen. By being intolerant of my behavior and utilizing their brutal criticism they saved me. They required their mental stimulation from me just as much as I needed theirs. This bond, the psychological bond, is undeniable.

4.Physical Comfort

"Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them." — Veronica Roth

I cannot count the numerous times I have sat next to one of my friends in tears and simply listened to their sniffles. I have heard them babble on for hours about nothing due to emotional distress and scream at no one in particular. I can genuinely say that the act of being near someone or simply cuddled against them can mean the world. I just started being more physically affectionate to my friends towards the middle of sophomore year. I simply wasn't open enough to give or receive as much affection as I mentally shared. I could definitely bond with someone on a mental level but when it came to hugs and other platonic gestures I was out of the loop. I cringed at hugs and flinched with pecks on the cheek. However, as time passed, I learned how strong a simple hug could be. A kiss on the forehead could empower an individual tenfold just because there is someone who tangibly cares for you. As you really grow comfortable even pain is accounted for physical comfort. Not some sadistic form of torture but I have quite the example: I was playing Challenge 24 in math class with one of my friends during someone's presentation (I was wrong for such an action and it was my best friend's presentation) when I feel a stinging sensation fly through my head. My best friend. One of the loves of my life. My numero uno. Bonny to my Clyde. She smacked me so hard in the head and it hurt ... like a lot. But I was OK with it because we've just reached that point in the friendship that even though I didn't expect it, I understood the reasoning and she's my best friend, what am I gonna do? Fight her in the middle of class. (I'm more of a "hide all your belongings" type of gal.) Coupled with emotional connections, physical comfort within a friendship can strengthen bonds nth fold.

5. Brutal Criticism

"But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie." — Khaled Hosseini

I have a very flowery diction. I subconsciously sugarcoat scenarios and choose my language to best fit the reaction I want out of a person. It's a bit manipulative but it helps me avoid conflict. Although I do like conflict when it comes to intellectual stimulation, I do not like sloppy emotional conflict because in the end no one is right. However, when it comes to my best friends, my seven people, I am not afraid to speak the truth. I am not afraid to tell them when they are morally, ethically or logically wrong. If my friends do something out of character I will tell them. If they ask me to be honest with them I will tell them the truth. My candidness is insanely unfiltered with them and its only because I want the best for them. This is not a one-sided relationship. My friends will break me down bit by bit to get me to see the error of my ways. As a stubborn soul, I feel as if my way is the most efficient way, which isn't always the case. Although I get upset when the truth first comes out, what am I to do? You can't argue with the truth and it's not slander. In the great words of my AP Lang teacher "It's not mean if it's true." That doesn't mean I go about pointing everyone's insecurities and ruining lives, but I will tell my friends how it is and give different angles of a situation even if it hurts them because its for the best. One of my best friends basically fought me when I was really depressed and with a brutal, honest exchange of yelling and sharp answers over text, what was said had to be said. After the air was filtered we were back hugging each other with tears in our eyes. That is friendship.

6. Always Wanting to See Success

"Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success." — Oscar Wilde

I like to achieve things. I like to win. I like to be number one. I prefer to lead and be on top of the world or have some kind of advisory position. I like success. This preference tends to make me very competitive and quite envious at times but that doesn't stop me from supporting the ones I love. I am each of my friends' number one fan. I make sure to encourage them on their brains, their looks, their bronze and so on. I make sure that they know I am proud of them when they succeed and I show know false advertisement with my opinions. I love my friends and I would want nothing less than the best from the people I surround myself with. Just as I support them they support me. They lift me up when I fail and tell me to keep pushing. When I succeed they show their pride, gratitude and appreciation. They are the people that keep me moving towards my end goal and even further than that. They are the people that, when faced with a standardized test, encourage me to relax and not psych myself out. By supporting someone else in their success you are in turn successful because you have given that person all the support you have to offer with no intention of personal gain.

8. Unconditional Love

"The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them" — Thomas Merton

We are human and we have flaws. We make mistakes. We have emotions. Most of all, we are unique. No two people are the same. Yes it is possible to find someone very similar to you. I have found a plethora of people that are quite similar to me, however we still differ in many aspects. When I was younger I thought that finding friends that resembled me were a priority. I needed to share common beliefs, interest, social habits, etc. Although this preference, in turn, made many of my friendships boring, it was not the commonality that began to divide us. As I realized that my friend, this individual, had more differences than I thought, I began to fall out of love. This means that I was never in love with the friendship but (as the above quote states) in love with the fact that I could see myself. I now know that accepting every aspect of a friend is what a true friendship accumulates too. Knowing all the nooks and crannies of my friends minds and much of their physical body isn't enough. Accepting each one of the unique attributes that mind and body hold is the epitome of unconditional love. It is not our duty to change our friends nor is it our duty to change their opinions of others.

Always remember that you will never know everything about a person because they grow and change. You have your best friends for a reason. They were chosen. You allowed that person to continue being in your life despite the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. You have been through mental and physical warfare and you have protected this person as if they were a part of you, because they are. I believe that although I am young, I have found the people I will indeed love for the rest of my life. They know my scars as well as my dreams. I have wiped away tears and induced happiness. I have absorbed their darkness and filled them with light even if it made me feel worse and they have done the same for me. In this day and age I believe that we are finding friends for life because we know that due to technology there is the possibility of never letting go. Of always being able to get that call at 3 a.m. despite the fact that we're a thousand miles away because of college. Keeping tabs through social media and never really leaving their side. Long distance friendships work. One of my best friends lives four hours away and that doesn't stop me. Don't take the people you love for granted, no matter the situation, no matter the distance.