I honestly thought that we would be friends forever. I thought you were the Christina Yang to my Meredith Grey. I thought we would grow up together, have kids that grew up to be friends, and be those hateful old ladies one day far in the future. I thought we would be in each other's weddings, and throwing baby showers for each other. But I was wrong.

When we first became friends, it was like those movies where two young girls (who couldn't be more different) meet and then they do everything together for the rest of their lives. Most of my memories from my teenage years include you. And to be honest, I really miss those days. Where we would be bored so we would just get in my car and drive around. Or we would go get tacos, and both be an hour late. We would camp out, or talk about boys, or play with your siblings. We wrote a rap. We even agreed on our favorite cuss word. I remember that summer as probably the best one of my life. We were so young, but I think it was at that time that life became a reality. Everything was so vividly real.

Years later we were still so close. Though we didn't speak every day, we were still the others' go-to person for anything. I remember a night a couple years ago where we just went for a drive and drove all around Greensboro. Eventually we stopped for milkshakes. And we talked about everything that we were too scared to talk about before. We genuinely poured our hearts out together as you were struggling with one of the hardest seasons of your life, and I was so confused about mine. And in those moments I truly felt that we would always be there for the other. A few days later was one of the worst in your life. I left work, drove to your house, walked in, and just held you till you were ready to speak again. And I remember loving my best friend so deeply in that moment that I knew we would always be this close. But again, somehow I was wrong.

I think it was after that when things started to change with in our friendship. You began to dive in to a passion of yours. And you found a community that understood that passion in ways that I didn't. And I started to move toward the life that I was comfortable living. I guess we both changed, I just don't see it as much in myself because I almost always wished for the life that I live now, I was just never vocal on it. But you met all of these amazing friends who pushed you mentally, physically, and spiritually. And you found a home away from home. The only thing is that I was not a part of that home anymore. And while I am so proud of the woman you have become, I still miss being 14. I miss running around barefoot in the woods. And making Harry Potter puppets out of brown paper bags. And I miss singing together. And just knowing that if I'm hungry on a Tuesday, we would go get tacos. I miss that night of milkshakes at midnight and then talking the waiter into giving them to us for free. I miss our friendship.

If you're reading this, please know that I am not mad at you. I've never really been upset. I just miss having that best friend who would let me shave her head randomly. Having that best friend who is such an amazing musician, and lets me be the founder of her fan club. I'm so very proud of you and all you have accomplished in these last couple years since we have drifted apart. It makes me very happy to know that you have a community other than your family who watches out for you and who supports you. You actually look happy now. And I know that even though it makes me sad that you're not living here, I smile knowing you are in a good place. You make me so proud because you took one of the hardest seasons in your life, and you made something good come out of it. Even if it doesn't include me.

You are a sweet memory of mine. And I still love the crap outta you.