My Future Son,
As of right now, you don't exist. I'd be lying if I said my mind hasn’t been occupied with you lately. There is so much I can't wait to know about you. For example, your name. I’m partial to the name Oliver. Also, I wonder if you’ll have my green eyes? Will you share my enthusiasm for rainy days? On special occasions, will you reach for a tie or a bowtie? What’s going to make you happy, mad os sad? I know it seems trivial, but all of these traits added together is what's going to make you, my perfect little son. You're going to be the perfect combination of me and the man I love entirely. You'll enter the world deeply, crazily loved. Although it seems weird to think about, I pray you exit the world the same way.
My perfect little son, there is so much you need to know. I was never raised with boys, I only had my sister. So I’m clueless on how to be the perfect parent you need, but never forget I will go to the ends of the world in search for what you need. Although I don't know if I know your father yet, what I do know is he'll pour his heart and soul out for you. He'll be just as passionate about you as I am.
The world you will someday enter is not perfect. They will try to tell you that “real men don’t cry." You're human. You're a man, but you're still human. Humans cry, and that’s okay. My shoulder is always open for such an occasion. Don't turn your emotions off. Don't run away from your emotions for fear of being labeled as “weak,” “feminine” or “gay." Revel in your emotions. Feel them deeply. It’s better than feeling nothing at all, I promise you that. Your emotions are just as valid as anyone else’s. Don't be afraid to express them.
What matters most is not the definition of your abs, or the size of your biceps, because looks fade. People will forget what you used to look like. What they remember is how you made them feel. So make them feel good. Kindness never killed anyone, and it won’t kill you either. There is so much negativity in the world. I pray that you're a beacon of positivity. Always be as sweet and gentle as you were the first time I held you in my arms.
I know boys will be boys, but my boy will be the best boy he can be. I want you to make a conscious effort about the things you say and the things you laugh at. Please don't make jokes at another’s expense. As I told your sister in her letter, words are powerful. They can save lives or end them. Don't describe things as “gay” or “retarded." People’s love stories and disabilities aren't to be joked about. There are plenty of other things to laugh at. Find them and laugh a lot. Let happiness and joy pour out of your pores. Laugh until your belly hurts. Be so happy, that others become happy by just being in your presence.
Although I'm sure your father will tell you about this more in depth one day, I want to give you a woman’s perspective on dating. Here’s what I want you to know: Be gentle. Be passionate. Be present. Don't be afraid to be naked with the woman you love. By naked, I don't mean clothes off, bare bodied. I mean vulnerable. Share your emotions. Tell her your dreams, passions and fears. There is nothing sexier than a man with whom you can have a deep, honest conversation with. Treat all the women you date with the same respect you show me. Open doors for her. Bring her flowers on special dates. Dress up for your date. Compliment her always. Don't be afraid to be romantic. Do this for the entirety of your relationship, and there will be no end. You deserve to be loved forever. Save your heart for someone whose hands are gentle enough to hold it.
If there's one thing I could make you, it would be passionate. I want you to fall so madly in love with life, your soul mate, your job — I want you to find nothing but happiness. I hope you pour your passionate soul and gentle heart into everything you do. Even the menial tasks, do it with great love and passion.
Don't be afraid to make a change, life was not meant to be lived in one spot. If you hate your job, quit. Don't be afraid to go and live your life. I wish a life of adventure for you; make sure you come back, because you’re my perfect little son and I'll always worry.
Although this is premature, I just want you to know that one day I'll be ready to be your Mom.
Lastly, I want you to know that you're the perfect son for us and we're the perfect parents for you. I hope you know that no matter how old you get, what you do or where you go, you'll always be my perfect little son. Forever loved, forever cherished.
Never think that your existence is less important (or more important) than someone else’s.
Don't ever be afraid to ask for help, because that is what your father and I are here for.
On your bad days, and you will have bad days, just remember how deeply loved you are. Use me as your crutch when you're feeling weak. One day I’m sure you will return the favor. You're mine and I'm yours. I love you more than I ever knew I could love another human being - And you don’t even exist yet.
Love,
Mom
