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21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

Riley Farrell

Nov 19, 2018

Texas A&M University

1070

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

@oldrow Instagram

*Disclaimer: it is okay to drink; it is okay to not drink*

Hi, I'm Riley and I don't drink at this point in my life. Not only that, but I'm in college! The pinnacle of ~fun alcohol time~, right?

I know what you're thinking: my college experience is a sad, dreary snooze-fest. Woe is me! However, my time in a university has been (and continues to be) a happy, delightful adventure.

Sober, I am doing all the activities that students who drink do. This includes the seemingly intimidating parties, dinners, etc. where folks engage in communal drinking. Here, I understand that turning down drinks is difficult! You know, the whole psychology of peer pressure, yada yada. But, staying sober is completely possible with the help of some handy-dandy excuses.

Obviously, "because I don't feel like it" is a perfectly legitimate reason, but there will always be pushy people who cannot take "nope" for an answer. So, here are some lighthearted ways to turn down the offer.

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?”

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2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!”

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(And every night, but they do not have to know that.)

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”

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4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!”

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(It helps if you trip over as you say this one. Really sell it.)

5. “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

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6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”

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7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).”

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(This wine costs over one hundred grand.)

8. “I ought to help my pal get home safe.”

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9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.”

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10. “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”

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11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”

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12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”

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13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”

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14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”

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15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.”

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16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”

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17. “Hey! Look over there!”

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(Run away.)

18. “I’m pregnant.”

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(This is a great excuse, especially if you can have a food baby during the event.)

19. Just scream until they walk away.

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20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?”

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21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.”

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?”

2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!”

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”

4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!”

5. “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”

7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).”

8. “I ought to help my pal get home safe.”

9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.”

10. “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”

11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”

12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”

13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”

14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”

15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.”

16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”

17. “Hey! Look over there!”

18. “I’m pregnant.”

19. Just scream until they walk away.

20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?”

21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.”

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I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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