Losing someone you love is never easy, but losing someone too soon without really ever saying goodbye is more than just hard.

There are so many words to describe how I am feeling right now, but the only word that keeps coming to my mind is lost. I am completely lost without you. I am forever going to be lost without you. I still cannot even fathom the fact that you are gone. How am I going to live without the man who has always been there for since practically the day I was born? You have been there for me since I was 3 years old and haven’t left my side since. I think about people who have lost their parents all the time, but I never thought about losing you.

You taught me so much in life and sadly you were only a part of it for 16 years. I am 19 now so it is safe to say, there wasn’t a time where I don’t remember you being a part of my life. You taught me how to be a good person, how to stand up for myself, how to love myself, how to love others, how to fight, how to care and even all of the silly things. Like learning how to ride a bike when you are in fourth grade or even learning how to cut your food as a sophomore in high school. All of the wonderful things you knew how to do, you taught me. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to teach me all that I need to know for my future,

I am deeply saddened and will always be sad that you will never be able to see me graduate college, or walk me down the wedding aisle, or never be able to see me have children or even be there to accomplish everything you knew I could accomplish. Who is going to be there when mommy and I get into a fight and you stuck up for me every time even when I was wrong? Who is going to be there for me when I am angry at the world or sad at the things that kill me inside? Who is going to be there to teach me all the things you were planning on teaching me? No one is going to be there and I hate the fact that you aren’t going to be there. I do not know why God made you go through the struggle you went through and is now making not only me, but all of the people you have touched go through this. I also cannot say that I am happy that he took you away from us, but I am happy you are in peace and no longer in pain. But thankfully I understand that there obviously was a reason for his doing.

I cannot just keep

writing about how you are never going to be here again because you wouldn’t like that. You brought to me so much joy and happiness and more importantly, you brought me another family. You brought me two more brothers and two sisters which makes four more siblings who care so much about me. You brought me a bigger family who understands family more than anyone. You brought me a family who knows how to stand by each other's side, even when it is not easy. You brought me so much more than I could have ever expected from a man. You finally brought my mom the happiness she deserved. You took care of all of us and you never stopped for a second.

So now I say thank you for everything you have not only done for myself, but for all the people who you have shared your life with. Thank you for being more than a man who married my mother. Thank you for being my father. I will always love and miss you forever.