What was your New Year’s resolution this year? To lose weight? Get that GPA up? Make new friends? Well, if you’re like 60% of the population, you’ve probably already broken that resolution - but that’s okay because so have I. My resolution for 2018 was to have more confidence. This might sound like a relatively achievable goal but for people like me, it’s monumental.
I’ve suffered from critically low self-esteem for the majority of my life. I’m one of those people that never felt like they were good enough and often beat myself up over the slightest failures. Because of this, I tend to be more introverted and avoid trying new things and meeting new people. When I go to a party, I spend most of my time wondering what other people are thinking about me. When someone compliments me, I don’t believe them and tell myself they were just trying to be nice. At this point, most of my friends and family just accept my low self-esteem as part of my personality and I have too.
At this point you may ask yourself, “Why is someone who has such low self-esteem trying to give me advice?” Well, I truly believe that the only people who know how to get out of a hole are the people who have been in the hole before. For example, I don’t know how many times people told me, “You just need more confidence,” or “You’re crazy, everybody likes you.” We all know that doesn’t work. So, if you’re not going to listen to everyone else, listen to me.
It is not your fault. Life is hard - life is really hard and it doesn’t go easy on anybody. Some people may look like they have the perfect grades, perfect relationships, perfect body, and perfect family but it’s all a crock, it doesn’t work that way. The most confident person in the room is simply more skilled at burying the bad stuff - that’s all. They are able to put their best self forward and hide all the rest. And maybe you aren’t so good at burying the bad stuff and you let your failures and shortcomings haunt you. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not you who is holding you back, it’s who you think you are. You are your own worst critic and it’s time you tell that critical voice that you are enough. You may not be perfect, but you try your best and that’s more than a lot of people. You are enough. No one deserves to be treated the way you treat yourself.
I know for a fact that you did something right today. Did you do your homework? Did you help someone at work? It doesn’t matter, you did something right. Celebrate your small victories even if that victory is just making it through another day. You deserve to give yourself some credit every once in a while. You are not a failure, you are not worthless.
You will make it through the other day.
