To The College Student Who's Never Been In A Relationship
Start writing a post

To The College Student Who's Never Been In A Relationship–You're Not Alone And Are Worthy Of Love

There is no set timeline for your love life.

To The College Student Who's Never Been In A Relationship–You're Not Alone And Are Worthy Of Love

Until my second year of college, I'd never been on a date. Now, as a Junior, I still haven't ever been in a long-term relationship.

Sometimes, that reality really bothers me. I like to think of myself as a whole, complete person all on my own, someone who doesn't need to be in a romantic relationship to feel satisfied. But I mean, come on. Most of us want cuddles at least sometimes.

It's so easy to see couples around campus or watch movies and shows with romantic themes and just start to feel bad about yourself. Like, there must be a reason why you don't have a significant other, right? You must be ugly or have a sucky personality, or maybe you just aren't attractive in a general sense.


Other people don't determine how worthy you are, first of all. Also, physical attractiveness is not some concretely definable thing—sure, there is such a thing as being conventionally attractive, but conventional attractiveness is not the only form of beauty. Plus, your attractiveness is about so much more than what you look like, and you have no idea how many people have admired you without saying so.

I mean, think about it. How many times have you thought that something about a person was just absolutely lovely, but you didn't say anything? I do it all the time—sometimes it's just not a circumstance where you can be open about that kind of thing. If you think no one has ever found you attractive in some capacity, physically or otherwise, you're wrong.

But again, external validation is not the magical solution to everything. It sounds cheesy, and everyone has heard this, but literally, you have to love yourself first. You don't have to think you're perfect (narcissism is not the best route), but acknowledge the parts of you that are good. Your talents (yes, you do have some), your abilities, some facet of your personality. We're all proud of something, even if we find it difficult to admit it to ourselves.

If you don't believe in your own positive traits, what makes you think you'll believe it when someone else compliments them?

But back to romance: I think we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be in a relationship just because it seems like most people either are or have been in one, but really that's not what life is about. We romanticize romance because society does so as a whole.

While there are definitely benefits to being in a (healthy) relationship, you can lead an equally satisfying and complete life without a significant other. Romantic relationships are not the only path to a happy, fulfilled life.

Another thing I think is important to address is that your feelings are valid. Your self-doubt or any other negative feelings that may arise out of loneliness or just because you're aware of your #single status do not make you abnormal. All of us go through Sad Boi Hours™ and they eventually pass.

In our current culture, it is so easy to feel inferior—to look at Instagram or Twitter and think Wow, isn't he/she/they just GORGEOUS? But remember, people have similar thoughts about you all the time, and no one is perfectly happy or satisfied regardless of what they may seem like.

We all have problems, and a lot of us haven't ever been in a relationship. You're not weird. You're not "ugly." Embrace and love yourself, because no one else can determine your sense of self-worth.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments