First of all, I commend you for your bravery to venture out into the darker parts of the world. It's not an easy path to try to help those who battle with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide. But before you begin, I'd like to share with you what I've learned through my own experiences with those trapped in darkness, and hopefully help you out in some way as you journey down the same path.

Figure out your faith. If there's anything that will test your beliefs, or your belief in God, this is it. It's not just the many questions that may be posed by these people as they search for help. It's the pain and suffering that you will witness through them. It's the unanswered prayers and the unbelievable pain that lies behind them. It's the eternal question of "Why would God let this happen to me?" You might believe that bad things happen for a reason. You get laid off at work, but end up finding a better job. Things like that. And you've probably been led to believe this truth: that everything God does, God does for a purpose. And right now, you're telling yourself that this is true for these people too. That all of their suffering is going to work out for the better.

But try telling them that when you see the extent of their suffering as they hit rock bottom. When you're with them for months on end and...nothing seems to be happening. Perhaps it is true that all suffering has a purpose. But we can't always see the purpose of our suffering in the moment. The other truth is that it may never pay off for them, at least not in this lifetime. So be cautious when you tell them that "it's all happening for a reason." It has to be more of a reason than little bits of happiness here and there. To be honest... even I haven't figured it out yet.

But here's the thing. If you get close to a person, and you endure their suffering with them, there's going to be a little voice in your head, after they ask you that question. You'll be thinking, "why would God do this to somebody like this?" Because I guarantee that you'll be praying just as hard as they will - for their recovery or for them to be rid of whatever is troubling them. And many times, it will seem as though nothing is happening, as if your prayers are hitting a rock wall, as if no one can hear you.

And if you tell them this, that all of their pain has a purpose, they're not going to stop crying and smile up at you and say, "Yeah. It will. Thanks." I mean, they might. But in most cases, they're going to say, "What purpose?"

You will not know the answers to why they have to suffer. You will spend countless hours thinking about it, praying about it, but you might not ever figure it out. The most important thing for you is to have a strong faith in what you believe in. Not just to accept that "everything happens for a reason". That's easy to swallow when you've never really had to deal with many problems in your life. But trust me when I say that if you're just blindly accepting that fact, you have no idea what's ahead of you. What lies in the darkness. You have no idea how much people can suffer. In order to deal with the darkness, you've got to believe that statement, with every fiber of your being. And if you believe in God, you've got to believe in your God with every fiber of your being. Because this will test your faith. Every facet of it. You're going to have to look at them and say, "I don't know what purpose. All I know is that there is one." And you can't doubt yourself. Because the tiniest shred of doubt will explode inside your head, and multiply even further inside theirs. They're going to test your belief over and over. And you can't doubt yourself. You can't doubt the reason they need to live. You have to be strong. You have to stand firm in your faith, whatever it is. You have to believe with your entire soul that they exist for a purpose.

Because many times, they might not believe that themselves.

Focus on yourself. You've probably heard this one before. I kind of ignored it. I don't have many problems, and after encountering people who struggle with depression and self-harm and suicide, I didn't think I had any problems worth dealing with. Anything that came up in my life was insignificant. And why not devote all of my time to these other people? What nobler pastime could I engage myself in? 

Well, it took a while, but I would get burned out. At first it's not so bad. But over time, you start to get dark. You get moody. You don't smile as much. It definitely rubs off on you, and sometimes you don't even notice. Pretty soon, you get to the point where you just get so fed up with all that darkness that you do more harm to the people you're trying to help than good. It'll be like you keep running into a wall, and you will get so sick of it that you might even start snapping at those people when they come to you with their problems again.

Doesn't sound likely? I didn't think so either. But trust me. It happens. The only way to avoid such an occurrence is this: devote some of your time to yourself. Deal with your problems. But more than that; focus on the things that make you happy. Spend time with friends who make you feel good - make sure you've got some kind of contact outside of all the darkness you're getting yourself into. Read a book. Drink a latte. Go on a bike ride. Draw. Participate in some sort of activity that you want to get involved in. Join the chess team. Watch a rom-com with your best friend. Go to your little brother's baseball game. Work on your faith, if you've got it. Make sure to set aside time for that, too, because it's going to be one of your most important tools in getting through this, and it's going to have to be strong.

Remember that it's okay to tell them, "I'm sorry, but I can't talk right now. I'm with (insert name) at the mall. I'll get back to you later, okay?" This will also help them to be less dependent on your help (discussed later). It's okay to take some time for yourself. Because here's the thing. You need to take care of yourself if you want to give some of yourself to someone else. If you let yourself get withered away, what will you have left to give?

However, if it is an emergency, make sure you have someone to call - the suicide hotline, 911, a family member of theirs, another close friend, or a counselor.

Don't be their crutch. This was one of my biggest struggles. You spend countless hours on the phone, in person, and every time they're depressed, or anxious, or every time they have a panic attack, you're there. You talk them through everything. You stay up all night with them to keep them alive. You're not even aware that it's happening, but one day you'll realize: they can't live without you.

This is especially true with romantic relationships. And it can be literal for people who deal with suicide - they'll tell you one night that you were the only thing keeping them here. It will make you feel good about yourself. But you'll keep hearing it, over and over, in different conversations, in different ways. You are the only reason they're alive. You're all they have to live for. They would have killed themselves if it wasn't for you. And you're torn between two different feelings: "Gosh, I'm glad I was there for them," and "What would have happened if I wasn't there?"

The latter thought will evolve into something more along the lines of "What if I left?" Because you're probably going to realize that you're not always going to be able to be there for them. And the thought of what's going to happen to them if or when you do leave can be terrifying. I always thought of myself as a single person supporting a thin piece of glass, and how quickly and thoroughly that glass would shatter if I let go, if I wasn't there. That thought will haunt you.

If you let yourself become their crutch, they will not be able to solve any of their problems by themselves. This is going to be hard to accept (it still is for me), but sometimes you've got to let them fight their own battles. This doesn't mean you can't ever intervene. It's important for them to have somebody to rely on when they really do need help. But make sure that you're not the only thing holding them up. You shouldn't be the only person helping them through this. Do they have supportive siblings? Parents? Close friends? A pastor or religious leader? Encourage them to reach out to different people. The truth is that no one can be supported by only one person. And one person cannot support the weight of all their problems alone.

And again, in romantic relationships, it's very common for this to happen. And it's very dangerous. You might have to leave them one day: maybe he'll break up with you, maybe you'll break up with her, for reasons other than their problems. Maybe you'll move or go off to college. Suddenly you're not there for them. What do you do now? If you let yourself become their crutch, not only will they need you in order to stay alive, but you, knowing what will happen if you leave, will become virtually attached to them, and will even sacrifice your own goings-on in life (as explained above) for their good. After all, what's a baseball game when you need to be with somebody to save their life? In some cases, you're going to have to sacrifice things. But you shouldn't be giving up your whole life for them. It's hard, and it will be hard to make these kinds of decisions.

The bottom line here is to make sure that they've got something or someone else to help them through their problems, or to allow them to deal with their own problems now and then. Because the ultimate goal is not for you to "fix" them. It's to help them get to a point where they can manage their life and become independent.

The goal is not to fix them. You're going to feel like a failure if you start thinking this way. Because in many cases, their condition can't be fixed. Sometimes it's something they're going to have for the rest of their life. This is often the case with bipolar disorder, clinical depression, anxiety disorders, and schizophrenia, just to name a few. Some can be managed with medicine and therapy, but the key word is managed, not fixed. And sometimes the medicines won't work at all. Sometimes they'll have the opposite effect. And you're jumping into all this hoping that you've got the magic solution, that all they need is someone who loves them and cares about them and wants to help. Then everything will get better and they'll live a normal, happy life.

Trust me. It's not going to be that easy.

A few months will go by and you'll think, "They're making progress. Things are getting better." A few years will pass, and you'll start to get desperate. It will hit you eventually that things really aren't getting better. Maybe they're worse. And you'll think, "What did I do wrong? What could I have done different? Why can't I fix this? Why can't I help them?" Think these things long enough, and you'll end up in a pit of despair and depression along beside them.

You can't fix them. Sometimes they can't even fix themselves. Remember your true objective when you decide to jump into all of this: you are their medicine. Your end result will not be a cure. You are there to help them manage. To take some of the pain away. To remind them that they've got people who care about them. To help when you can. But, like the medicine they might take, you're not going to fix them. It's as simple as that.

Listen to some upbeat music. This might sound a little trivial, but you've got no idea how much music affects your brain, and your mood. If you're dealing with people who are depressed all the time and who cut themselves and have lost all hope, then you've got to be positive. You've got to be able to provide happiness, not more despair. Not more depression. That will just aggravate their condition even more. You've got to be a beacon of light for them, a symbol of hope. I mean, I love heavy metal and rock and Three Days Grace as much as the next punk-rock teenager. But every now and then, lighten up your playlist a bit. You have no idea how much a little upbeat rhythm can improve your mood. Find that music that makes you love life, and listen to it. Better yet, introduce them to it. Play it while they're in your car. Sneak it in every now and then. It works wonders.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (Available 24/7):

1-800-273-8255