This is for the ones who feel stuck with unanswered questions. Who are dealing with a situation in their lives that has reached a point of stagnation, the kind that disturbs your peace and seems to disrupt the balance in your life. For the ones who are waiting. Waiting for a change, waiting for movement, for an answer…for something they wish was within their control.

Maybe it’s a romantic interest leaving you confused about the status of your relationship. Maybe it has to do with a falling-out with a friend. Whatever your situation, you know how hard it can be to wonder if a chapter in your life is really over. Maybe you feel as though you’re looking for some kind of sign that it’s okay to move on even if it means facing the unknown. Maybe you’re wondering what the outcome will be. You can feel something important to you coming to an end and—or you believe it already has come to an end—but without some physical form of finalization, it can seem totally foggy and confusing.

Never getting emotional closure from people or events of the past is how people wind up with regrets. You know this. I know this. I can think of a few regrets myself about my own past. And, just recently, some friends (I think?) I met in college, with whom I felt I’d left things in a weird state, all but disappeared from my life, and I find myself wishing I’d gotten closure, wishing I’d told them what they needed to hear, wishing I’d made right what I felt needed to be made right.

Here is what I can tell you: Good for you for questioning things, for not wanting to let things stagnate and become complacent. It means you’re figuring out what’s best for you, what you deserve and what you need to live a fulfilling life. The unfortunate part is, getting the closure and the answers you are looking for is extremely rare. Many relationships end without their proper closure, and very few difficult situations ever get formally resolved. We are all confronted with big changes in life, and they are almost never easy. The best way you can deal with a lack of closure is just to step back and take each day as it comes, without too much judgment or expectation. Let your thoughts on the subject come and go and try not to dwell too much on your questions. I’m working on this myself right now. You’ve got to try and stay immersed in the things that are most meaningful to you to give your heart and mind a break. It may not happen all at once, but I promise there will come times when everything starts to make a little more sense.