Anybody who knows me even a little bit knows I'm a pretty big sports fan, and despite not being from Boston, I grew up a Patriots and Red Sox fan. So in the middle of another incredible season in which the Patriots went 14-2 despite a conspiracy against them by the league that....actually I'll let Ben Affleck take this one:
Anyways, Deflategate aside, the Patriots do this every year. There's death, taxes and the Pats winning the AFC East. This is just commonplace for us, doesn't even make us get up out of our seats (yeah, we're spoiled) and if we're lucky we do get to the Super Bowl, where most of the time great things happen:
Yet, this year there is a threat to this, a threat so ugly and terrible I can't describe it nearly as well as this photo would:
For the third time in the last decade, the New York Giants have made the playoffs as a Wild Card in the NFC (there was one other time they made it via a division title and they got smoked). The two times they made it previously, the Giants and the man in the picture above (Eli Manning for those who don't know, although if you don't I have some questions) somehow cobbled together teams just good enough to beat my Patriots in the Super Bowl in both 2007 and 2011, mostly based on luck (and every now and then a holding call).
In case you can't tell, yes I am still salty about this, and this year has been way too good to have it ruined by any quarterback who does this:
Only to somehow turn it on in the playoffs and do this:
Imagine if you took a really hard class, like organic chemistry, and you sat next to this one doofus who didn't show up, and failed every test leading up to the final, while you did well on every assignment, quiz, and test, only to have him get a perfect score by randomly guessing every answer while you got a 50 on the final. That's what it's like when the Giants beat the Patriots. It can't happen, so if the State Farm Guy fails this weekend, and other teams fail along the way, if there is a God, please make this happen, my heart cannot take it, and neither can my dorm room wall. If there is a God, let the Giants lose this weekend, and bring joy to the world (or maybe just Massachusetts and one kid in San Antonio):