I think the second someone hears I'm in a long distance relationship, they assume that I live off of ice cubes. Something that has some sustenance in the beginning, hurts, then completely dissipates, this could not be further from the truth. In fact, long distance relationships are becoming more prevalent, due to being able to have multiple connections through the Internet, phones and age old snail mail. For those in college, the military or any job that requires travel, long distance relationships are now becoming a normalcy. However, there are a few quirks that come with the distance than people begin to pick up. Many feeling that unless someone were in a long distance relationship simply would not understand. It doesn't matter if you've met online, or in person, each relationship (though unique) share a few common traits with others braving time and distance.

Our minds are always in two time zones. Our thoughts are in two directions, what's going on here and what's going on there. Who's eating dinner, who's going to bed. Plans versus plans and major events going on where.

At a certain point, far way is just simply far away. It wouldn't matter if they were any closer because it's still too far and moving farther isn't a big deal because the earth is round and eventually the gap will close the farther you move, right? Nothing will shift, no amount of willing will make a difference, so acceptance is key. Accept the inevitable of lonely nights where someone sincerely has to go to bed. Accept that sometimes grades truly do come first. No one said long distance was easy. It never is, but there are always things to celebrate. This isn't the longest time spent apart. Communication is regular now. There was a point in time where there was none in a month, but that's done and over with. That counts for something. Plenty of people have done this, plenty of people have made it through this. Only three more Christmases and the gap of distance and time will shorten significantly. Tomorrow, a package is sent. Next week, one will be received. What could be in it this time? The inner monologue of pep talks when things can feel hopeless is a record on repeat, but it becomes a mantra. This isn't forever. This isn't forever. This. Is. Not. Forever.

In long distance relationships, you don't get away with simply saying that your day was fine. In person, you can and carry on with making dinner. However, over text or over the phone, there has to be a way to paint the day and give a clear image. Even if you do the same thing everyday such as going to class, you have to put in effort to keep a conversation. You have to say what you learned, or what changed you today. What did you see that you don't see every day? What made you think of the person you're talking to on the other line? Maybe you listened to Barry White for the first time in years. You have to talk about it, if not, someone gets left out of the loop. You have to stay close verbally to somehow make up for not being close physically. In a way, this builds a more emotionally intimate relationship due to you really only getting the verbal and mental aspect for a while.

Then there is the point of finally being together. The pause in the airport when you see them for the first time in weeks, months, however long. The split second it all goes quiet, where you don't remember quite how far you ran, but that you're simply in their arms, you're really there. This isn't some dream that you'll wake up from and all you can do is hold their face and re-learn the small things you didn't know you had forgotten, like a freckle on an earlobe, or how holding hands actually felt. For however many days or weeks you can spend together, it doesn't matter what happens, it's all perfect. Someone may get a speeding ticket, but you're there to witness it! You're watching it in real time and not hearing about it! It's real life! Even if you fight, it's exciting in the end because perhaps you learned something you might not have if you had been apart and for once you can actually kiss and make up and salvage the day together, instead of awkwardly messaging afterward.

But then you feel it. The creeping dread halfway into your trip. The "Oh gosh, there are only so many days left." Before you know it, you're taking that last car ride in silence to the airport and preparing to say goodbye. The security line looks like school on the first day, you don't want to know what is behind it. All you want to do is turn around and run. But, you must go to your respective side of the country or world and persevere. Getting home after seeing them poses its own challenges, like the feeling when you're home and it's almost like you'll be seeing them next week, rather than in a few months. Or how you can go from hopeful to hopeless just by looking at a calendar. Or laying in bed wanting to talk to them and realizing that your lives still have to go on, whether with work or school.

But the best unspoken feeling is the one where you know through all of the doubt and judgement, loneliness and hopelessness, where you can look in someone else's eyes in person or through a webcam and know that you might just have more than one home. That in the end, no matter how many miles or hours apart, someone out there on the other side of the country or the world knows you for who you are, and is willing to continue to want you even if it means waiting for you.