Being friends with your Ex gets a lot more complicated when they start dating someone else. No matter how long it has been since you broke up, the new girlfriend will always be suspicious of the old girlfriend. Having recently navigated my way through this with my ex-boyfriend, I have compiled a list of things I wish I could say to his latest lover:

1. Yes, I was first, but no you are not lesser

Yes, I loved him first and yes he loved me too, long before he ever even knew you. But he loves you now. Trust me, I hear about it all the time. So sure, he loved me first but first does not mean better and first does not mean forever. He is fiercely loyal and would never jeopardize your relationship.

2. No, he will never talk sh*t about me

As much as you may wish that your boyfriend was one of those guys who only ever talks poorly of his exes, he never has been and never will be that guy. You should love him for that because if things go south you know your name will never be slandered by someone who once claimed to love you. In the same way, he is never going to tell you anything negative about me. We are close because he chose to still be my friend even after the messiness and hurt of a breakup, so sorry but he really is the nice guy that he comes off as.

3. Yes, he told me that you don’t like me

Honestly, it’s understandable that your boyfriend’s ex isn’t going to be your favorite person in the whole world. But, I am on good terms with him, his family, and all of his friends so maybe I’m not the worst. I don’t expect you to be my best friend and comment on my Instagram posts, but clearing the negativity of hating me would probably improve your life.

4. No, I will not stop talking to him

Girl, he and I had been friends for years before you ever came into the picture. We were also broken up for over a year when you did first come around. So, we’re long past the longing for what if's and days of considering reconciling the relationship. He is not still in love with me but he is still my friend.

5. And finally…

You better love him right. You have the opportunity to be with one of the most unique people I have ever encountered. I can guarantee that he will love you with his whole heart, he’s even told me that he really does care about you. So stop worrying about the irrelevant ex girlfriend and go enjoy your relationship.