Every day I come into the Athletic Training Clinic at TLU with my classmates, excited to start rehab with our patients to return them to the field, or court, as soon as possible. I’m always happy and ready to be there, but there are just some things that I just can’t stand hearing, and neither can the other 20 classmates I have. Here’s a list of 20 things that we don’t like to hear (that usually follow with an eye roll or a quick game of nose goes).

1. “Can I get a massage?

Nothing is worse than hearing an athlete come in saying, “can I get a massage?” It’s not that we hate giving you a calf massage, it’s just that you start off asking for a calf massage then it goes to hamstrings, quads, back, and before you know it, I’ve somehow become your full time masseuse. It's a prime example of foot-in-the-door technique (shoutout to Mrs. Hart’s AP Psychology class).

2. “I need to go to the trainers/ hey trainers /go see the trainer.”

My favorite one is “you must be in good shape 'cause you’re a trainer.” My job is to manage, prevent, recognize, and rehabilitate injured athletes.

3. "Can you stretch me?"

I have to admit, I’ve honestly ran from an athlete because I just did not want to stretch them.

4. “So it’s been hurting for like a month, but I just decided to come in.”

Why did you barely decide to come in? I know I can do a lot, but unfortunately I don't have the power to cure you in one day. But if you find that power, please pass that on.

5. “Do I have to do rehab?”

Oh, I don’t know? Do you wanna get back out to the field?

6. “The ice is too cold.”

Because it's ice. If I make the ice warmer, it's gonna be water, and what help is that gonna be? Seriously?

7. "You have to shave your ankle before I tape you." “I don’t want to”.

Oh, you don’t want to? Well, I have to tape to the skin, so you better believe I’m taping down on all that hair. Good luck taking that off.

8. "I don’t need crutches, I can walk."

But you have the most ridiculous pimp walk I’ve ever seen. If you wanna get better faster, take the crutches. Trust me.

9. "Don’t tell coach"

But you can't run around and try to play with a torn ACL, so I have to tell coach. I know he determines your play time, but you'll never get back on the field to play if we don't try to get you better now.

10. "But can I still play?"

It’s like you’re begging for another injury. No! We want you at 100 percent when you finally return, not 50 percent and then another injury

11. “Why can’t you give me ice?

Sorry, Caate (pronounced Katie) said so. You better believe we’ve used this line before. When we can’t or don’t want to do something, it’s always Caate's fault. Plus, I can’t trust if you want to sue me yet, and I need my preceptor there.

12. "Can I get, like, eight ice bags?"

Orrrrrr here's a splendid idea, why not try the cold whirlpool? It’s even worse when they say “well, it’s too cold.” Well, it would work a lot better than walking around like a stiff robot for 20 minutes because you want eight ice bags13. When an athlete comes in to do rehab right before closing hours

It’s 4:55 and the clinic closes at 5 and you want to start a two-hour long rehab? Oh, forget my life, right? WRONG. Come back for rehab tomorrow, and get here on time.

14. When an athlete plays their music too loud

No. I don't want to hear your music out loud. We already have some music playing. If you can't keep it quiet, bring some headphones and there won't be any problems

15. When athletes don’t take off their shoes before entering the clinic

I think it's more annoying because there's a huge sign outside of every door entering the clinic that clearly reads "all athletes must remove shoes" or some variation of that. It's just that you're clearly ignoring my direction

16. “Are you sure that’s what’s wrong? I think it’s ______”

I’m sorry. I didn’t know Web MD was more qualified than I was. You know, the AT who goes to school for this. But you’re right, it’s probably whatever you’re thinking.

17. "Do you ever clean the bottles?"

Yes, I clean the water bottles. What kind of operation do you think this is?

18. "Why does the water taste funny?"

Because it comes from the water hose. How else am I supposed to quickly and efficiently fill up five ten-gallon coolers? You’re lucky I even brought water, cause I’ve been petitioning to not go out to practice for weeks

19. When an athlete moans and groans when you stretch them.

It’s even worse when they start to touch and grab your ankles. Thanks, you made this uncomfortable for me.

20. “Yeah, but it doesn’t hurt right there, it hurts right here. What are you doing?”

I know. I realize that, but I’m trying to rule out any other possible injuries.

A special shout out to my awesome TLU Athletic Training Program peers, who so willingly sent in so many examples. It was so hard to pick just 20.