I live on the third floor of Bowler. If you have never lived in this building this means absolutely nothing to you so let me give you the layout of my little home here in Hiram. You go up the stairs and at the top to the right is my room. I live there with my roommate Ev and it is a good time. On the other side of the stairwell is the bathroom which is really the important part of this story but we will come back to it. If you go around the stairs you will find the four other people living on our floor. None of this is really important aside from there are six of us and a one person bathroom. I know what you're thinking: I am going to go on a rant about my dirt floor mates. Well, you are wrong. We are all actually clean and hygienic; it's great. Or it was until someone in housekeeping decided we didn't need soap.

We haven't had soap in a little more than two weeks. Well, that isn't true. We have soap but we don't have the soap we pay the college to provide us with. In fact we have soap provided by me or my other broke college kid friends. At the end of the first week I figured that they just hadn't brought enough soap up the hill so I popped my hand soap on the sink and shrugged it off figuring they would put in new soap on Monday when they were back to work and that would be the end of it. Nope. It has now been two weeks; my soap is long since gone and has been replaced with a friends soap. A friend who mind you does not live on this floor and shouldn't by any means be giving us soap. This is besides the point. The point is I am mad they aren't giving us soap.

What did we do? How did we get banished from the land of people allowed to have soap? Was there an incident? Were there evil soap eating gnomes in the walls they needed to get rid of? Why did they think starving the gnomes was the best way? Could they not have set up tiny soap eating gnome traps? Where is the goddamn soap?

Don't get me wrong here, I have no problem buying my own soap. The thing is I did pay for the soap they should be giving us. It is part of the cost of my tuition. So why in the name of all the gods and goddess I believe in am I not getting the damn soap. The point is I am mad about the soap, give us our soap, I am sick and I am blaming the lack of soap, seriously give me some soap.