Allow me to bring you back.
You are experiencing “that day,” all over again. From head to toe, you have been transformed to this period in time.
Do you remember what you were wearing?
The people you were with?
Close your eyes. Really allow this memory to take hold of you. You are revisiting “the day” that never left, the moment that changed you. Forever. How does it feel? Do you feel your heart being split into two, your world being taken away? The ground slipping out from underneath you?
It is the worst day of your life. The one you’ve replayed in your head hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. The one that you obsessed over, wished you could change. Instead of fighting this, simply allow the memory to come. Let it sweep through your mind as if were truly happening all over again. Revel in this.
And then--just breathe.
It’s over.
The day that changed everything, no matter what happened, did change you. I’m not going to lie and say that it didn’t. Forever, you are changed by this specific moment. The traumatic moment. Everyone experiences a different “worst day,” but we all have one. Some people suffer from flashbacks; others simply shudder at the thought.
But I’m not writing to give you fear. No, quite the opposite--because you should feel empowered. You have, by far, experienced your worst moment, and yet here you still are. Fighting. Making the most of each moment. For that I applaud you. I also inspire you to keep creating more positive energy, to keep hoping for miracles.
The other night, I sat outside as I often do. Two of my friends accompanied me; we carried on and on. Talking about our problems, feeling the weight of the world.
From the corner of my eye, I swore I saw--
No, it couldn’t have been. I diverted my attention elsewhere. I pretended I had never seen anything and started telling a story, was knee-deep in this story when--
“I have to point this out,” my friend blurts out, interrupting my train of thought. She gestured towards the night sky, near the collection of pine trees. Instantly, my blood ran cold. I knew what she was referring to right away; she must have seen what I did.
I finished her thought. “A shooting star,” I replied, and she was relieved. We had both seen it--a star breaking; falling to its death. Yet this simple action gave us so much hope.
“On the count of three,” my other friend said, “make a wish!”
We all closed our eyes, thought of something important. Millions of ideas passed through my mind, but I had to commit to just one.
Never before had I seen a shooting star. The moment, then, became extremely important and almost symbolic.
All my previous thoughts and ambitions surfaced through my mind, but I had to pick the one that meant most. And where there is ambition, there is hope.
The worst day of my life changed me forever. I cling onto that same fiery emotion, still experience trouts of tears. But that pain gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. That pain represents strength and dedication-- and humanity. Without pain, I would not be human.
The worst day of your life molded you into a new person. There is no doubt about that. After being tested, and teased, and torn, there has been a shift in balance. Now you decide what to do with this shift. Will you allow the pain to ruin your life? Will you give this one single day permission to ruin an entire lifetime?
Will you allow one day’s negativity ruin any following positivity?
You must accept the fact that this day happened. Pretending it didn’t will only make matters worse. You must not run from the truth because the truth always makes a reappearance.
However, you must also accept that you are hurting. You experience pain and unbelievable sadness. Sometimes, you wonder what you did to deserve such treatment. How could the world be so cruel? How can you possibly go on, when everything you thought you knew has been taken? Stripped away?
I don’t have the answers to these questions--only you do. Only you know how to make it to the next day. Even when “making it to the next day” seems impossible, especially when each day seems exactly the same.
I have been told that pain is the greatest teacher. At first, the idea dumbfounded me. How could something so crippling also be so helpful?
Look inside you. You will find the answers there.
We have days where we cannot accept the worst, but also others where we cannot accept the best. Like, for instance, a star gliding across the sky. Mesmerizing. Captivating.
For too long, I pretended my worst day never happened. I thought my life would never, ever be the same; I thought I would never smile right again. But here I am-- somehow filled with hope and optimism.
Wishing on shooting stars.
