All of a sudden, the world disconnects from you. Your throat tightens up and your heart races at a pace that sends vibrations throughout your veins. Your head feels hollow and airy. The room spins until you can no longer see, clouding your vision with fuzzes of black spots. While shaking violently, your sweaty hands will start to grow numb. It feels like the fire alarm in your body has been pulled, sending it into fight or flight mode.
You’re being suffocated by your own thoughts. There’s no oxygen left in the atmosphere to pump the blood through your body. Your heart keeps racing and your body can’t keep up. You don’t know whether you’re shutting down or just fighting to stay alive.
Having a panic attack is one of the scariest and worst experiences to ever have to suffer through. Living with an anxiety disorder, my days are unpredictable. I’m always in fear of an episode. The worst part is that the more you fear them, the more frequent they become.
When you have anxiety, simple tasks like making a phone call or just going to class become daunting adventures. Anxiety will keep you awake to ungodly hours of the night because that's it's favorite time to investigate your every move and reminisce on everything you've ever done. Staying up then forces you to binge on coffee, resulting in even more anxiety.
Anxiety is a monster that will convince you that there is always something wrong with you; that you are the problem. You start to overthink your way into a cycle where you forget what you were worrying about in the first place, but then leaves you on a tangent exploring the idea of, "What’s the worst that could happen?”
Anxiety is your biggest enemy. It's your biggest sense of self doubt. It's your biggest critic. Anxiety is hypocritical and selfish. It takes over your every move.
Anxiety is a big black hole that you can’t get out of. It’s a shadow that follows you everywhere you go. It’s a bubble that you can’t escape. It’s a hand that suffocates you. Anxiety is a prison.
Anxiety is so much more than being nervous or stressed out; it’s a voice you can never get rid of. It never goes away and it’s up to you whether you want to let it consume you or make you stronger.
