The Super Bowl From The Mind Of A Non-Football Fan | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Sports

The Super Bowl From The Mind Of A Non-Football Fan

A humorous look at what goes in my mind as someone who doesn't give two damns about football.

5
The Super Bowl From The Mind Of A Non-Football Fan
Wallpaper Cave

Each year, on the first Sunday of February, Americans all over the country sit down with a full liter bottle of Pepsi, an entire pizza pie, and two bags of potato chips and watch the NFL Super Bowl, in addition to some funny commercials and a halftime show featuring whatever pop music star is popular right now. It's a time for football fans to gamble over who will win and complain about the Patriots, and a time for people like me to pretend to be invested in the game, but are only there for the snacks and a couple of funny commercials.

Even when I was a kid, I never really became all that invested in football. I never even got into fantasy football and I never really understood how the game worked until I got into middle school. The only reason I even bothered to watch the game was because the rest of the family was watching it, and I liked seeing the commercials and the halftime show (although the quality on both seems to vary each and every year, more often than not leaning on the bad side).

And so, for your reading pleasure, a brief look at what goes on through my brain while watching any and every Super Bowl.

"Oh great, a singer showing off during the National Anthem. Haven't seen that before."

"Alright, the game's finally starting--oh wait, here's a beer commercial."

"I swear I've seen that guy in something else before. Is he from SNL?"

"Alright, now the game's gonna start."

"Well, it's been five minutes, and nothing's happened."

"Oh Doritos. You always know how to make a great ad."

"Really? They're making another [insert movie franchise here]?!"

"Okay, X Team got a touchdown. That's the team I bet my Dad against, right?"

"Dammit! I'm out of Tostitos, and the Snickers ad is going to play soon."

"And there's another touchdown from X Team. Is this going to be a blowout?"

"And that's Quarter 1. Only 3 more hours to go."

"NCIS/SVU/Other long-running show is still on the air? Huh, learn something new every day."

"Alright, Quarter 2."

"So is the guy in the Kia ad a football player? He seems kinda familiar."

"Oh yeah, I still need some Tostitos. I'll go check in the kitchen. It's not like anything exciting's gonna happen."

"Wait, what?! Y Team got a touchdown while I was searching the pantry?!"

"Okay, does the marketing department for some of these companies just randomly choose the theme of their ad by drawing out of a hat?"

"And Quarter 2 is over."

"Man, they're really trying to hype up this new show. Too bad it looks so dull."

"Alright, half-time show."

"How many back-up dancers did this guy get for this performance?"

"Alright, let's see how this guy does when performing live--and he sucks."

"Hello featured artist....goodbye featured artist."

"Well that was...whatever. Okay, back to the game."

"Alright, I'm gonna go get some more chips. Hope I don't miss anything big again."

"Oh wow. Nothing has happened."

"Ooh, an ad for a movie I'm actually interested in. That's nice."

"Wait, is that Will Ferrell? What's he doing in a Budweiser commercial?"

"Alright, is nothing going to happen in this quart--and it's over. Mm'kay."

"So Quarter 4 is going on, and Team X are guaranteed to win. Looks like it's time to check Twitter."

"Oh look Team X won."

"Wait, I bet against Dad that Team Y would win? DAMMIT!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

97969
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

16563
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

15828
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments