Ah, the Summer Olympics. The event that comes only every four years.

The event that brings together top athletes from every country across our vast world, except for maybe some Russians, and millions of screaming fans. Now, if you aren't fortunate enough to be able to attend the games in Rio, you are able to access every sport from the comfort of your own home! That's right, while you judge the athletic abilities of competitors pouring out heir blood, sweat, and tears, you don't have to leave the tush cushioning luxury your extra large La-Z-Boy.

Now it may surprise you, but in the midst of all the ceremony, sportsmanship and hype, I don't seem to experience the same excitement, infused with anxious expectancy that seems to riddle most of the population. I know, I know, to some I may sound two scoops short of an ice cream sundae, and my immediate family may be able to back up your theory—hey, babe—but the other bit of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

The struggles I experience during the Olympic games are not known by many, and acknowledged by fewer, so allow me to enlighten the rest you. And maybe you can—secretly—sympathize with one or two of them.

1. When you can't even make it through the opening ceremony.

Now, I don't know how I do this every single time, but lo and behold here I am again. Thrilled for the opening ceremony, and to show how culturally appreciative I am, and sure to take preemptive measures as to make sure I don't miss the biggest party on television this year. Yet each time I sit down to enjoy the colorful celebration, Diet Coke and Fruit Rollup style, I find myself struggling to fein interest by the third commercial break.

Three hours is just too long to sit without a story line, a car chase, or Jennifer Lawrence, when I know I have a whole season of "Modern Family" waiting for me on my DVR.

2. Knowing you won't be watching normal television programming for weeks.

If you live with a sports fan, which I do, the Olympics is a formal announcement that you will no longer be losing yourself in the weekly thrills of your favorite late night drama. Instead, you will be flipping between three different channels--at least--at all times of day.

8:00 a.m. Olympics, 11:00 a.m. Olympics, 2:00 p.m. Olympics, 9:00 p.m. OLYMPICS. And on the rare occasion when you are blessed with the gem of an opportunity to watch the news, the news does you the blessed favor of recapping the events from the day before.

Thanks George Stephanopoulos, but I was actually watching that unfold yesterday. Then your husband reaches for the remote. Back to the Olympics.

3. Resisting the urge to eat like it's the Super Bowl every day.

So we are expected to throw a party where we are encouraged to eat enough food per person to feed a small country when the Super Bowl comes around, but when every nation of this dad-gum planet gets together, no party? Friends, these are the things that make me go hmm.

However, it's not the lack of a party that bothers me—hey, the less I have to clean—it's the uncontrollable urge to stuff my face with the bountiful junk-food that resides inside my pantry. I'm going to blame Pavlov for this one. From childhood we've been conditioned to stuff our faces with chips, wings, and brownies whenever a major sports event takes place. It's almost second nature.

Unfortunately this means fighting a raging food craving every time the Olympic theme comes singing from my TV for 16 days.

4. Not understanding half the sporting events, but feeling like you should because America.

As a athletically impaired individual, I find that the Olympics only serve to heighten my feelings of inadequacy. You see, over the years I have been able to glean enough information to stay tuned in to sports like football, basketball, and soccer without having to ask, "Wait, what just happened?" every time the people around me erupt in either excitement or anger. However, the Olympics is a whole different ball game.

I have no idea how rugby, water-polo, and fencing are played or scored. And I'm sure many of you are secretly in my same situation, watching the people next to you more than the game, looking for cues on how to react. When it comes to the Olympics it almost feels un-American not to know every aspect of the sports our top athletes are pulverizing the competition in. That's where you just hope you're a better actor than a fan.

"Go USA! Make that err, point?"

5. Being torn between patriotism and napping.

It's only natural to feel a swell of patriotism when you see the United States kicking butt and winning medals across the board. But when watching the games for a long period of time, and let's be honest, some sports aren't as enthralling as other (looking at you archery), your eyelids become heavier than the gold they're competing for.

Now if you're alone, no problem. Grab a pillow, a iced cold beverage, a blanket, and let the rowing team lull you to sleep my friend. But the problem arises when you are watching the games with other people.

Their eyes are glued to the screen. Your eyes are glued shut. They're yelling at the TV. Your mouth is falling open. They're chanting, "Go USA." You snore audibly.

Congratulations, in their eyes you're now a communist.