Four years.
That's all it is, in retrospect. Four short years of your life. They honestly don't matter in the long run. Yes, your grades are going to be looked at by colleges and the activities you got involved in are going to be added to your resume for as long as you feel like they're relevant and important. And yes, if you get into major trouble, then it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. But, in essence, high school does not matter.
Nobody cares who you are. Nobody cares about what superlative you won in your senior yearbook (they added Class Drama Queen just for me) They don't care whether or not you were on Homecoming court (I was not) and they definitely don't care about whether or not you went to prom (I promise you, you won't regret not going). Nothing about the person you were in high school matters.
The label that you were given on the first day, based on your group of friends or your grades or the sport you played or the clubs you joined or whatever reason they had for giving you some stupid label that definitely couldn't describe you, does not matter. It means nothing and it doesn't define who you are as a person. In fact, those labels tend to hinder you from realizing who you truly are and all that you were meant to be.
Here's the truth, the stuff that nobody really wants to tell you.
First, let's start off with the year that everybody has such high expectations for:
Freshman Year
The "popular" girl (I really despise that word) is not perfect. She is not even close. Nobody is, and the more perfect they appear, the more they have to hide. The more that they're secretly ashamed of. Because appearing "perfect" means that you're working overtime to hide every single flaw, so that people will believe you're completely unbreakable -- so that nobody will say anything about you, ever.
The boy that you've been obsessing over since that time you dropped a pencil and he picked it up for you? Yeah, well, he doesn't matter either. I mean, sure, maybe you two might end up to be soulmates, you'll get married and prove me totally wrong here, but from my experience, you're going to end up spending an entire school year obsessing over him while he sits next to you in fifth period history. Then, summer is going to come, you'll spot a cute boy while on vacation and totally forget about him. That's how it goes because you're fickle, you're young, you're naive, you're 15-years-old and in high school.
The spot that you were certain you were going to get on the team that you've been excelling at for years? It was never promised to you and there are going to be people better than you. There are older students competing for that same spot. Students with more experience. You are not guaranteed anything and nobody owes you anything. Just because you were the star in middle school does not mean that you are going to be the star in high school.
The activity that you swore you'd never try? You're going to get talked into trying out and you may even love it. I promise you, every single risk that you take is absolutely worth it. Take it from a girl who swore that she would never be a cheerleader. A girl who hated the idea of shaking a set of metallic pom-poms with an over-sized bow while encouraging a bunch of boys to tackle one another and get past an entire swarm of opposing males. I tried out for the cheerleading team at the urging of my best friend and it became the thing that I loved the most.
Oh, and the most important lesson to learn during your freshman year? Real life high school is nothing like "High School Musical." Nobody breaks out into song randomly and the merging of cliques is not some huge ordeal that changes the entire dynamic of a school. People don't change who they are just because of one person and sometimes people aren't who you think they are. Do not believe that your high school experience is going to be anything like the movies because it only builds you up for disappointment.
Now, let's move onto the year that really is the most laid back and under appreciated year:
Sophomore Year
Driving is not as much fun as it seems. You're either going to be like me and end up fighting with your parents nonstop over the topic so much that you still don't have a license by the time you go to college or you're going to be one of the first ones of your friends to get your license. You either end up driving your friends around for the rest of your high school days or forever asking for a ride. And if you all have a license, then everything becomes the ever so polite battle of, "Do you want to drive? Because I will, if you don't want to," and the driver not quite knowing how to ask for gas money, but knowing that it's a necessity to cart around their friends.
The stress of your "Sweet 16" birthday party is totally going to be worth the fun that you have at the party. So long as you remember what's truly important -- making sure that you surround yourself with your truest friends. It's not about who has the biggest party (nobody remembers who shows up at who's party). The only thing that matters is that you had a night full of memories that you'll never forget.
Just because your awkward stage didn't end by 10th grade and the day you turn 16 doesn't mean that you're destined to be an ugly duckling for the rest of your life. Seriously, everybody develops at a different rate. And no matter what is being featured on the front cover of glossy magazines, you're beautiful exactly the way you are. Don't let the media and Hollywood's ever changing definition of beauty say anything about your outward appearance.
Moving onto the most stressful year of your high school existence:
Junior Year
You need to start planning for college.
Seriously, figure out a general idea of what you want to do. I know it's the worst question in the world, the one you've been dealing with since kindergarten and you probably thought you had an entire year before you had to deal with coming from you from every angle, but it's seriously time to start thinking about what you want to be when you grow up.
Because there are hundreds of schools out there and the easiest way to narrow down some choices is to figure out what you want to study. Once you know that, you do some research to figure out what school has the best program for what you're (potentially) going into. And that's how you get your choices. Spend the first half of your junior year doing this research, looking into schools and figuring out what you need to better your chances of getting into the ones that interest you the most. Do your homework because it's going to make everything so much easier in the long run.
Take your SATs. Take your ACTs. Or don't.
Yeah, I said it.
Those stupid tests that teachers try to make you stress over and that your older friends and family members are going to try to psych you out about? Yeah, those don't matter as much as Hollywood wants you to believe. In fact, most schools are doing away with even looking at the results, if they haven't coming stopped caring already. The ones that aren't doing that, are taking your grades from the past four years into consideration as well as your test results because one test defining your entire future gives a packet of papers a little bit too much power. So, take them or don't. Just make sure you know what your potential schools think about the tests, so you're prepared for those.
The second half of your year can be dedicated to touring schools or you can dedicate your summer to that. Either way, make sure you tour at least two schools and try to pick schools that are polar opposites from one another if you're touring the bare minimum. That way, you see both ends of the spectrum.
Junior year is going to be stressful because it's the year when the future starts to seem real. But, it's also one of the most exciting years. For me, it was the best year out of the four I spent in high school.
You have so many exciting things to look forward to, and you don't have the pain of things being "for the last time". You enjoy everything so much more because you know that it's one of the last times.
Make the most of this year and don't allow the college prep to take over. Surround yourself with good friends and make sure that you start doing everything you've ever imagined doing this year. Don't look at this as the year that's your final year before adulthood. Look at it as the year where anything is possible. The year where you can be anybody you want to be. And take some risks.
And now to prepare you for the final chapter and the one that everybody thinks they're ready for, even if nobody ever is:
Senior Year
This year is the most heartbreaking year, even if you hated high school and couldn't wait to leave. It doesn't matter if all of your friends were older or younger than you. This year is going to make you cry at least once. And most of the times, it's going to be at a completely unexpected time, during something that you thought you'd be fine dealing with. And the moments that you thought would crush you the most are the moments where you're totally fine.
Long story short, the big moments like prom, your senior trip and senior skip day are not what they were built up to be.
Prom is fun. It's nice to get dressed up and have a night out with your friends. The music is going to be good and the pictures are all going to come out great. But the stress that surrounds prom is not worth it. It's not necessary and you need to focus on having a good time. The best way to do it is to find a good group of friends and go that way. Do not worry about having a date and coordinating colors and getting a limo. Go with your friends because a year later when you're looking at the pictures, at least you'll still want to post the pictures for a TBT.
Your senior skip day is more trouble than it's worth. If there is any sort of a negative stigma in regards to your class having one, don't even bother. Pick a weekend with your friends and go wherever it is that the skip day was supposed to be. It's the people you truly care about and there's no chance of getting into trouble. Because, honestly, the thrill of skipping a class isn't that great and if you haven't experienced it by the time your senior skip day rolls around, you're not the type of student who needs that experience in their life.
The senior trip? Yeah, that's pretty epic. It's not what the movies make it out to be, of course. Not everybody is hooking up and there's not a ton of drama. In fact, if it's anything like my senior trip, it's going to bring your entire grade together. We took more group shots on that trip than I can ever remember taking on a school trip and it was because we wanted a picture with everybody in it. We were sitting with four people to a seat on the coach bus because we wanted to be as condensed as possible. We all squeezed into one hot tub and then found a way to get everyone in the pool at once at the hotel. And we dedicated one hotel room to be our hang-out. The girls ran from room to room getting ready the next morning. The boys sat together at a huge table eating breakfast. This is going to be the moment where the ultimate bonding happens and it's going to make the actual graduation ceremony and the last day of classes seem that much more important.
But, you aren't going to cry during your ceremony. Maybe you'll tear up during one of the speeches, but you aren't going to full on cry. You're going to be sitting there, in the hot climate, under your gown and praying that your cap doesn't fall off when you have to get up and move, even though you used about 27 bobby pins to keep it in place. You're going to wish that the ceremony would go faster and you'll get your awards. You'll get your diploma. You'll move your tassel and throw your cap. Then, you'll run around taking pictures with all of your friends and even the people who you were never all that close with, but who you bonded with over the past few weeks. Then, you're going to go home and start graduation party-hopping for the next month, at least.
While it's happening, it doesn't affect you. Not the way that you think it will. Because, during the last homecoming game, no matter where you are, you're so caught up in what you're doing that it doesn't hit you that it's the last time. When the game ends, you're so busy celebrating or mourning the loss that you don't have the time to be sad that it was the last time. At the last concert you perform in, you're not going to cry because you're so busy doing what you're doing. At the beginning of the year, you're so busy filling out college applications and deciding on a school and getting recommendation letters that it doesn't hit you. At the end, you're too excited over what's to come to focus on it.
It's going to hit you one random day over the summer when your mom asks you if you want to spend the day shopping for your dorm. And then you realize that you're not shopping for school supplies anymore. You're shopping for a mini fridge, new bedding and stocking up on Ramen and bottles of water. When you realize that you're never going to have another "first day" of high school again. That's when it hits you and you'll spend that night scanning through out pictures and breaking down. Because that's when you realize that high school is really over.
So, the moral of all of this? High school isn't what everybody makes it out to be and it's not forever. It's not the best four years of your life, and anybody who swears that it is who's over the age of about 26, probably had the best years of their life in high school which is sad. They're most likely people who are too afraid to ever leave the small town they came from. So, don't feel bad if you didn't love high school. Instead, know that it can only get better from here. But, also remember that just because high school wasn't what you expected, it doesn't mean that they weren't some of the best years of your life.
