He stripped away my self-worth, layer by layer, until there was nothing left of my personality.
Yet I never forgot about the girl who I used to be.
She lived inside, y caged soul, waiting for the day I would set her free.
Casting her light into my dark mind, hoping that I would see, flashes of a better life, glimpses of possibility.
I was never alone because she believed in me.
-Christy Ann Martine
Although most often underrated, the effects of emotional abuse are detrimental. Emotional abuse strips away the positive mentality of a person and their ultimate trust in the people around them. Those who are victimized, whether by abuse or even bullying, endure continuous misery and fear. The good news, however, is that we control what's acceptable and unacceptable to us. As individuals, we are responsible for taking care of ourselves and knowing our personal limits. It is our job to realize who deserves a place in our lives and who does not.
It is extremely difficult, for young women especially, to realize the severity of their mistreatment. Women are easily overpowered by men who gain pleasure out of hurting others because they do not speak up for themselves. Unhealthy relationships are often triggered by the brutality of one insecure person to another. These relationships are simply toxic. Happy-mediums do not exist in abusive relationships because hurt people hurt people, and they are incapable of ever changing. We allow these emotional abusers to bring ourselves down to their level. Instead, we should always rise up to whatever obstacles set us back.
From experience, I know how challenging it is to stand up for yourself. Even though you may feel scared, it is so important that you find the will to fight for what you deserve. We need our voices more than anything. And when our voices are not enough, we simply walk away and never look back - ever! Emotional abuse is more than the scarring words. It's constantly feeling like you are the least valuable person on the planet. It's that sinking feeling you get every second because they make you feel like you, and only you, have done something wrong. It's being reminded that you are less than your worth, that you are never enough, that there is something wrong with you. Those who have been through it know just how complicated and gut-wrenching it is to take those giant leaps forward.
When you've finally accepted the reality of your situation, it is time to move on. When someone who you loved so deeply, or even a friend, perhaps even a bully or a hater, who has given you nothing but reasons to despise your reflection, it is nothing but a sickening feeling for the soul that feels like forever. Always have hope and always know your worth. Never, ever give up on yourself and be sure to respect yourself so much that you get rid of what no longer suits you.
One day, you will wake up with a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. That person who once hurt you will no longer be able to make you feel the ways that you ever did before. You'll never have to walk on eggshells again, for you are more important. You will find yourself again and pick up the shattered pieces of your heart. Once you have finally let go and moved on, your life will continue to grow. Never forget the people who stood by your side and supported you through the absolute worst. They are the ones who know you best and they are the people who remind us how vital unconditional love really is. Recovery would be impossible without the people we love.
Remember to acknowledge your worth. Remember to love yourself again. Remember that there is more to life than feeling like you are trapped beneath a never-ending storm of torture. You are beautiful, you are unique, you are unlike anybody else. Learn to trust again. Be open to new things that benefit your health and happiness. Learn to open up to people again and build that self confidence that was once lost. I hope all of your insecurities fade to dust so that you feel nothing but pride and accomplishment, and that your smile shines like never before. Self-love is the first step to any kind of relationship. Without loving ourselves, no-one else ever would. You are the ringleader of your life and you should never let somebody take that role from you.
