To the person who doesn’t feel like they fit in:

I am you. We don’t fit in. We chose different paths in life than many people around us, but it is not a bad thing in the least, and not fitting in was my biggest blessing. So let me tell you my story, in hopes that it reminds you that you are not alone.

After I graduated high school, I embarked on my own journey and I made decisions that not many people around me were making. I decided to not go to college and instead pursue a career and start working. Originally, I did plan to attend college after one year off, however, I fell in love with my life outside of school and I can honestly say that it was the best decision I have ever made for myself. I felt as though I was taking control of my life and really stepping into adulthood. I cannot say that it was easy jumping straight into adult life, but it taught me many important lessons that I don’t think would have been as impactful, had I gone to college.

One of the most obvious lessons I learned was a byproduct of consistently being the youngest person wherever I was. I was 18 when I started my first real job, and the next person closest in age to me was 22. I was the youngest by four years and although that may not seem like a lot, those four years between us are most people’s most formative years. They are the years where most people are in college, discovering who they are and learning about themselves and who they want to be. I, being at the beginning of these years, and being surrounded by people who were through these years, got the unique opportunity to use their knowledge to my benefit. I got to see the different paths my co-workers had taken and what had led them to being here, doing the same job I was doing. I got to hear about their formative years and learn what they learned without having to go through it myself. People always say “hindsight is 20/20,” but I got to have their hindsight as my foresight. I got to use their experiences and their lessons to navigate minefields before there were even mines in the fields. I got a jump start into adulthood.

One of the downsides of being 18 but living a life of a 20-something, was that for a while I didn’t really fit in with either group. I didn’t have the crazy college stories all of my friends from high school were sharing because my weekends were spent working instead of partying. I suddenly felt very separate from friends I used to be so connected to. There is a comradery amongst people going though the same life events, when they can all share about an awful teacher they have, or share war-stories from Frat parties, and I couldn’t contribute anything to these conversations. On the other side, I didn’t have much to add to the stories my work friends were sharing as I was not looking into graduate school or getting married or having children. I felt out of place with both groups, but this ended up being more of a blessing than I ever expected.

Not fitting in is an opportunity to really be introspective and decide who you want to be. I could either go back to college and get those stories to fit in with my friends and return to the working world when I was more of that age, or I could see where my job would lead and focus on learning from those around me and using them as incentives to raise myself to their level. I chose the latter and I have never looked back. I have worked hard and had to make a lot of tough decisions to be where I am. I still get a lot of wide eyed looks when people learn that I am only 21 and a manager of a department, or disapproving glances when people hear that I never went to college. But I get to decide what matters to me and I am in this amazing middle ground where I can do wonderful, adult things like buy a house and travel the world, and not have to take finals, or I can wear tennis shoes with dresses and get away with making silly purchases because I am still young. The important thing is to remember that I chose my path, every step of the way. I decided how I wanted to grow up and when I wanted to hit my milestones and there is great power in knowing that I chose everything in my life and I made all the wonderful things around me.

So to make this long story short, it’s okay if you don’t fit in; it's okay if you reach milestones faster or slower than someone else. It means you are an individual and you are creating your own life. And that is pretty powerful.

Sincerely yours,

A girl who was just like you.