Growing up the only “roommate" I had to deal with was the occasional nights when my siblings or dogs crawled into my bed. I never shared a room or a bathroom, so when I found out that I not only had one roommate but seven, I wasn’t sure if I was prepared. Middle school and high school showed me that being friends with girls was more difficult than picking out any prom dress or where to eat on a Friday night. I have always been the type of person who can get along with people quickly and make friends instantly but my stomach didn’t sit right with how my freshman year was going to play out. I knew I had been put with seven girls for a reason— I was blessed that I was, looking back a year ago now. You hear stories of having the roommates from hell, and at first that was how I thought it would be, but I was wrong.
Leaving Your Home for a New One
Finally, it was time to pack up the car and leave the small town I had grown up in for 19 years, thinking to myself that this day would never come. I rolled my last suitcase out of my room, looking back at my room that was once full of medals, pictures, memories; now empty with nothing but a bed and a dresser. I couldn’t help but think of all the bittersweet moments in that room that I will never get back and I felt a tear roll down my face.
Why was I crying when I had so much to look forward to? I was crying because I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to have any of this again. No more getting out of my unmade bed and walking into my closet to find something to wear ten minutes before the bell rang for school. I took my suitcase and started walking down the hallway to my living room where my siblings and parents were, ready to say goodbye. Even though I swear somedays I wish I was an only child, my heart hurt knowing I wouldn’t wake up to my siblings arguing every morning before school or having to take a five minute shower because my brother just got out of practice and was stinking up the whole house; my heart really hurt saying goodbye.
Walking down the steps of my house knowing the next time I would walk up them might not be for awhile, knowing I might have a different life, knowing I won’t be the same person. The hardest part of leaving was looking back in the rear view mirror of the car with my tear filled eyes remembering everything beautiful that has happened and that I use to think college would never hurry up and get here, but it came too fast. I was leaving my home for a new one, I was leaving my friends for new ones, I was leaving my town for a new one, I was leaving my old life for a new one.
Move-in Day
I had been preparing for months for move-in day and all the things I would need to be able to survive without my parents. My list of “things needed for college” had finally had everything crossed off and the sadness had gone away when we reached the school I had been daydreaming about for a straight year. Unpacking the car and unloading everything I had found myself people watching, thinking to myself, “maybe that’s one of my roommates!” “Or her right there!” I couldn’t wait to see who I would be spending basically my entire first year with.
Walking up to the door, I saw the sign on the door with my name on it along with my other seven roommates’ names on it and I knew I was home. I shuffled all my things into my room with my parents following and smiles were exchanged when I met my future roommates, but on August 26, I didn’t realize that these girls would soon be considered my sisters. After unpacking everything it was time for my parents to leave me to do the rest but every part of me just wanted to be that kindergartner again and pull at my mom’s shirt for her not to leave me on my first day.
The Awkward Stage
So now that all of our parents were gone, what were we suppose to do with ourselves? I remember not knowing what to say or do because these girls were complete strangers but to my surprise we had all stalked each other’s social media so we began to bond over different things. This was the stage I like to call awkward— you don’t know what to do with yourself, you don’t know anyone, you don’t know where anything is. Soon the feeling went away. I got to know my surroundings, my roommates, and my college.
The Honeymoon Stage
Everyone has heard of this, mostly because people use it when referring to relationships, but let tell you that this happens with roommates too. During the first few months, or as I call it “the honeymoon stage,” all eight of us bonded like sisters. Going out every weekend, tailgating at the football games, meeting cute boys and sharing gossip, studying, shopping, and creating memories were the things we found ourselves all doing together. I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t know why I used to have problems with girls back in high school, there’s no drama in college so this is awesome.” I spoke too soon but don't let me scare you, it really wasn't all too bad.
The In-between Months
After the honeymoon stage, things started unraveling but this is expected from a dorm room full of girls. Arguments, smart remarks, dirty dishes, stress— these things started shifting and created tension. Roommates don’t always get along, right? Right.
Through the hardships we had each other’s backs in every single aspect of the year. We still went out together, studied together, ate together, gossiped together, and made more memories together. If you have bad days with your roommates, it makes you appreciate the good ones. I promise it isn’t the end of the world if one of them used your coffee cup or forgot to clean their hair out of the shower. Not only did I learn how to share a bedroom, living space, and a bathroom but how to wash dishes, cook my own food, and love myself through it all.
You are not alone.
You see people walking to class and you don't think anything of it but people all around are just like you. Maybe they are stressed from school, maybe they have a child they are trying to help make a future for, maybe they miss home, maybe they love all the same things that you do. Every single person is going through something no one knows about, make sure to smile at the people you pass or hold the door open for someone that you come into contact with because it can go a long way. One act of kindness can spread like wildfire and soon the entire campus will be radiating with positivity. Somedays I found myself thinking I was alone, I never was though because I had a dorm room full of people willing to listen as well as friends who were walking distance from me.
To the Most Important People from College that I Met Along the Way:
Forever Friend
All throughout high school I had different best friends, I changed friends like I change my contacts (so once a month). I found myself getting angry with myself over the years because I didn’t have that one friend that I knew I would have forever, the one that would be my bridesmaid and we would have kids at the same time so they could be best friends, but then I found her and to my luck she was in the room across from mine. T
o you my forever friend, thank you for being there for me when I am in bed crying because of my anxiety. Thank you for being my party-goer. Thank you for always crying over the same stuff as me. Thank you for having as many messed up nights that I have had even when we both end up regretting it the next morning. Thank you for being the reason I didn’t take my life that night. Thank you for failing math with me. Thank you for being my forever friend. I couldn’t have done my first year of college without you and I hope that I never have to know what life’s like without you.
Opposites Attract
Outgoing and bubbly are the two words I like to describe myself as and often I do not find myself trying to get people out of their comfort zone until I met you. You had this glow in your eyes that made me feel as though you had much more potential than you gave yourself credit for.
The closer we became the more I realized just how different but alike we were. You are in love with cats while I hate them. You and I both suffer from really bad stress and end up crying over the silliest things. Your favorite color is black while mine is yellow. You and I both are too hard on ourselves when we should really be cutting ourselves some slack. You are quiet and I am loud. I have never believed that opposites attract when it came to love but because of you, I believe that it works with friendships like ours.
Mystery Boy
Going into college single was something I never imagined happening but I am glad it did because then I would have never met you. I always thought that finding someone who enjoys the same things as you only happens in movies but you changed my outlook on that. Art, music, writing, coffee, nature, life— all the things I am passionate about just like you are.
Thank you for proving to me that it is OK to love again. Thank you for showing me that another boy can be trusted with my heart after being torn to pieces. Thank you for taking me to my very first EDM concert. Thank you for helping me grow into a more positive person. Thank you for opening up my eyes to appreciate the smallest things in life like the fries from Five Guys or how many BPM's there are in one of your mashups. Thank you for being the second person to have had my heart and then breaking it. I could not have done my first year without you. I never wanted to know what life would be like without you but now I do.
Find Your Forever Friend. Find your Opposite Friend. Find your Mystery Boy.
Find yourself.
Finals, Moving Out, Summer Break
Every college student dreads finals week, this is where the late night library sessions take place, quiet hours are in full effect for 24 hours, and the stops to Starbucks and the marketplace to spend the rest of your DB’s take place. While trying to prioritize for finals, work, and your social life it is also time to start packing up all your belongings for summer break which means even more goodbyes. Some goodbyes are temporary, others will be permanent. While packing up you realize just how fast this year flew by, that a few of your friends might not be coming back, and you won’t get any of those moments again.
Tan skin, summer jobs, beaches, bonfires— the things we all look forward to after finally be out of school but those tans will fade, your summer job may become full time, and you realize that it isn’t all about partying but a few drinks here and there won’t kill you. Watching my roommates take their final exams and start to pack their things up was something I don’t know if I can ever put into words because I remember that it hurt, it hurt to watch the ones you spent so much of your time with for a year soon become distant friends because you won’t be able to just climb into their bed to cuddle when things aren’t OK.
You won’t be able to get ready with them before you go out for the night, you won’t be able to listen to them complain about the same boy who broke their heart a month ago, you won’t be able to hear them cussing about the grade their professor gave them on a paper even though they wrote it the night before. You might not even see them during the summer or plan to live with them for the upcoming year. You are not going to get any of this back.
Hold On To The Good Times
When people say life flies by faster than you think, believe them. My first year of college felt like two months compared to my first year of high school, it goes by without you even realizing. Go out on the weekends, spent a little too much at Half Off Apps, wear that outfit that shows off your beautiful figure, work out every day, study in your free time, make lots of friends, fall in love once or twice, and never stop trying to find yourself.
College is about finding out who you are, what you are meant to do, and what you want in life. I would not be who I am today or where I am today if it wasn’t for the seven sisters I was blessed to live with my first year of college. Find the people who make you appreciate getting out of bed everyday. A big thank you to my roommates and the people I met along the way for changing my life in more ways than they could imagine. I love you all.
