Hopeless romantics. We all know them. You probably are one deep down inside but maintain an RBF (resting b*tch face) and a cold heart to steer away the players. I definitely talk a big game, but even I can admit to my hopeless romantic ways.
Let’s back it up a bit. What exactly is a hopeless romantic? According to the teenage encyclopedia/bible (Urban Dictionary), hopeless romantics are “in love with love.” They are the “idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative and the fanciful” and they live with “rose-colored glasses” on. Simply, they are the ones who believe in soul mates and bear their souls to each significant other they have in hopes they have found the one. It’s a blessing and curse. All the happy moments of pure love stick in your mind forever and make fond memories, but leave a lot of room for hurt and heartbreak if it’s unreciprocated. I’m saying this from personal experience.
Hopeless romanticism is talked about as an idea but when you practice it unwillingly, it feels more like an illness or disease. It gets me thinking about how it happens. How did two-thirds of America end up believing in soul mates? After a lazy movie day with my family, I’ve found the answer in just two words: Nicholas Sparks.
Madness. Anarchy. How dare she blame a torturous epidemic on America's most-beloved romance films and books? I know. My blaming hopeless romanticism on Nicholas Sparks is almost the same as blaming violent video games or Marilyn Manson for school shootings. It’s ridiculous, carries no connection whatsoever and it’s offensive. But I’m not looking to blame anyone at all. This conversation is strictly about influence. And for the sake of being honest, Nicholas Sparks must be talked about. If you don’t think watching "The Notebook" warped the minds and hearts of young adults everywhere, you’re in denial. So onto my point.
Nicholas Sparks novels and movies follow a certain formula. A kind of pattern. And it doesn’t take a genius to pick it up. Let’s start with the male categories. They are three kinds of male protagonists in a Sparks novel. First, the “Capulet/Montague” man. This is the guy your parents don’t approve of. The one who doesn't deserve you. The guy the parents will do anything to rip you away from (i.e. "The Best of Me," "The Notebook," "A Walk to Remember," etc). Second, the “Bad Boy.” The mysterious guy who’s constantly getting in trouble. The boy who’s no good for you but you want him so bad (i.e. "The Best of Me," "A Walk to Remember," etc). The third and final type is the “Savior.” This guy is exactly what he sounds like: the one who saves the girl. The guy who protects and helps the lost girl find her way through his love (I almost gagged typing that). The guy who becomes the hero in the end (i.e. "Safe Haven," "The Lucky One," "The Last Song," "Dear John," etc). This type takes the majority.
Though these types of men make great for fantasy and make a girl’s heart race in the theater, it’s not necessarily healthy for their minds. Let’s take the first type, for example. One of the factors of a relationship is loving someone no matter what anyone thinks. Nobody else’s opinions should change the way you feel. With that in mind, your parents' opinions should be heard and respected. When your parents sense there’s something wrong with the person you’re dating, they’re right most of the time (even though I hate to admit it). If we adopt the logic of most of the Nicholas Sparks females, we throw away our parents' strong opinions and do whatever we want anyway. This can cause a lot of family tension and resentment and if the relationship does not end happily like most of the movies, you will have no one to turn to. Pushing your family away for a boy is not a solution.
There are consequences like these for each of the types, and they get even worse when you take away the mystical glimmer of the movie romance. It doesn’t take a genius to realize these relationships aren’t realistic; the novels are called fiction for a reason. But millions of girls around the world watch these movies every day and think this is what love is really like. Sometimes the great moments of a relationship can compare to the movies but the great moments don’t last forever. Life continues after someone calls “cut.” There’s more behind the scenes than you’ll ever know.
In the end, Nicholas Sparks isn’t the sole culprit. There are Disney movies and old fairytales in books our parents used to read to us. The idealistic happily ever after has been around for so many years that it’s most likely it will never end. The only way to avoid hopeless romanticism is honestly just having a good head on your shoulders (which clearly I don’t). But honestly, there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. I feel like love will always be more magical through my eyes, and I’m thankful for it every day.
