Growing up, I have always been labeled as a "chubby" girl. I have always been very aware of my size, especially in middle school where so much of my time was wasted comparing myself to my peers. I have always been especially cruel to myself, blaming everything on my weight. Even things that had nothing to do with pant size were blamed on my waistline.
"Maybe if I wasn't so fat, I could make better grades."
While it seems silly and ridiculous now, it is true. In recent months, however, I have embarked on a journey which is changing my life for the better each day.
In mid-August 2015, a little less than a year ago, I began going to a local gym with only one thing on my mind, lose as much weight as fast as humanly possible. Again, while this seems ridiculous and a bit unrealistic (okay, extremely unrealistic), I know I am not the only person to enter a gym and jump on a treadmill with this exact mindset. Too bad that is not how this works. I have begun to figure out that this is a process which requires a considerable amount of time and dedication. I think that my biggest problem, aside from my love for Pop-Tarts and chocolate milk, was my severe body image issues. From a young age, I have struggled to view my body with any enthusiasm. This has been the greatest struggle in my fitness journey.
Many of us who are trying so desperately to lose weight have been skipping the first, and arguably most important step of this journey, loving ourselves. Trust me when I tell you that it is not easy. If you are anything like me, you have spent years hating your body. This prison within which we have felt hopelessly trapped does not have to be a prison anymore. There is nothing more beautiful than falling in love with your body, despite the flaws that greet you each time you see your reflection. I am here to tell you that regardless of your height, weight, skin color, age, or gender, your body is a beautiful and wonderful thing! The Bible tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
This life is far too short to waste as much time as we do worrying about our bodies and what others may think. In 1967, David Elkind spoke about the "imaginary audience." This is basically the belief that we are under constant watch by those around us. With all the time you spend judging and criticizing yourself, how much time do you spend doing the same to others? Now imagine how many others are doing the exact same thing. Surely you'll come to the conclusion that they are far too concerned with themselves to focus on you. I am not saying that your body will never be examined by our society because it inevitably will; I am saying that it should not have any power over you. We were not put on this earth to pay as much attention to bodies as we do. What a much more beautiful world we would live in if we focused all of this time and energy on learning each others' minds as we did on criticizing their bodies. Once you grow comfortable with yourself, everything else will fall into place
