It was just another day in my head, and then my mother called. As we talked about life, she brought up the subject of relationships. As always, I tried blowing it off and kept telling her that I wasn’t ready to be in one (which I am not); and then she said something that stopped me in my tracks.
Why are all of your friends okay with dating but you aren’t?
My initial response was to laugh and explain that they aren’t me and I, likewise, am not them. Although I laughed and joked that I was only friends with couples and that I couldn’t be one myself, I asked myself something that I never had before: what makes me a good option to be a third wheel?
You see for as long as I can remember, I was a bystander at every event that involved romance. My best friends have gotten, and gotten out of, relationships right in front of me. Sometimes, when I feel gracious, I help them get there.
Do I enjoy being a third wheel?
You see, this question can’t be a yes or no answer. I adore my friends, and I would never give them up for anything. So seeing them happy makes me pleased, and I don’t wish to see them suffer (as any good friend should). But when it gets to the point that you are being ignored and pushed away, it starts to hurt to be around them. As a friend you don’t just want to leave and disappear, but sometimes that feels best.
What do you do when the couple breaks up?
Run away...
Just Kidding! Honestly, I do tend to detach myself a bit from the ex-couple. Not because I don’t want to deal with the drama, which I don’t, but because it is better to be a little distant than getting caught in the cross fire.
Do you want to have a third wheel when you do get in a relationship?
No, I want friends.
Here is to 18 years of being a third wheel.
