The Kind Of Man I Know I Need

The Kind Of Man I Know I Need

To know this man is to experience the love and joy of the Lord.

I was first called "boy crazy" when I was in seventh grade. My best friend's parents used to laugh at me on our beach trips, saying "Christy, you better be careful with that heart of yours." And while it was a joke back then, that was honestly some very wise advice.

High school was pretty normal, except I can't remember a time when I didn't have a "crush" on someone. The boys I was attracted to were your average high school athletes: the catcher of the baseball team, the star basketball player, the all-region wide receiver. That's the kind of guy I thought I needed. One who was athletic, tough, handsome, and caring. One who would give me attention when I felt unlovable. One who would tell me I'm prettier than the other girls or would tell me how "attractive" it was that I played sports. This was the kind of love I thought I needed.

I came to college and not much changed. I found myself clinging to the attention any boy gave me. Whether it was a boy in my class or some drunk guy downtown, I figured that any attention I could get was better than no attention at all. I figured that if these boys, these athletic, charming, popular boys, weren't interested in me, no one else would be.

And don't we all feel that way? If we don't notice boys looking at us from across the room or get Snapchats from the guys daily, we start to ask ourselves what exactly is wrong with us. However, what we're failing to realize is that that is not the kind of affection that the man we deserve will show us. That's not the kind of affirmation we need to prove to us we're worth it.

You see, after all of these years, I've realized that I have prioritized the wrong qualities in my list of what makes an "attractive" man. I've focused on the material possessions, the accomplishments, and the six-pack of abs that he can put on his resume. I've focused on his hair color, his athletic abilities, and the brand of shirt he wears. And by focusing on all of these qualities, I've lost sight of what I know I really want and really need in a man.

At the end of the day, I know what my heart really wants: a man who makes me laugh until I cry, prays before each meal, hugs like a teddy bear, and loves well. He's the man who encourages me to grow closer to the Lord and holds me accountable. My trust in his faithfulness to me won't dwindle because he doesn't immediately text me back.

He's the man whose presence makes you feel Jesus. He's the man who makes you desire more and more of the Lord with everything he says and does. His watch may not be gold, but his heart definitely is. He's the same Friday night as he is Sunday morning. And though he may not have a stacked resume and toned legs, he's the man that the Lord wants for me. He'll love me unconditionally and unceasingly. Bob Goff says, "That's what love does -- it pursues blindly, unflinchingly, and without end. When you go after something you love, you'll do anything it takes to get it, even if it costs everything.” That's the way I need to be loved, and the only man who will love me that way is a man who's heart is for the Lord.

On my wedding day, I want to be as giddy as I was on our first date. I want to look back at all of the fights and the hard times and smile because of the way he handled them. I want to look back and see how well he has loved me and how his love is a direct representation of the love the Father has for me.

Simply put, the man I need is the man who needs the Lord before he needs me. He's compassionate, selfless, understanding, generous, intentional, and diligent. He follows the Lord's call for him no matter how hard or how badly he doesn't want to. In everything he does, he glorifies the Lord. He speaks life to everyone and loves everyone he encounters well. To know this man is to experience the love and joy of the Lord.

This is the kind of love that I need: a consistent, unconditional love. The physical qualities and material possessions still catch my eye, but I'm learning to not let them steal my heart. I know I deserve a love that reflects the love the Lord has for me. I know that I deserve a man whose heart is already captivated by the Lord. I know that this is what I need.

And the exciting news is that he's waiting for me. And while waiting for this love is frustrating and lonely, I know that settling for any other kind of love will just leave me empty and heartbroken. He's (hopefully) praying for me every day, asking the Lord to bring me to him through His perfect timing. So instead of settling for second best, I've been praying that the Lord will give me the patience to know that His perfect plan is indeed perfect.

And to you, dear one, who is reading this and relating to every word: know that the Lord has such a perfect, wonderful man waiting for you. I urge you to pray for him, to pray for yourself, to never settle, and to be patient. The Lord is good, and His plan for you is better than you can imagine.

Cover Image Credit: Indie Wedding Guide

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To The Boy Who Made Me Love Again

Thank you for loving me and showing me how to love myself.


To the boy who made me love again:

From the very beginning of our relationship, you showed me you were different. You showed me how I should be treated.

After dating someone for three years, falling in love was the last thing I wanted to do again. I did not want to grow close to anyone and fall in love with every little aspect of someone, but with you, it was so much different. You were different from other guys I had talked to. You have done small things for me that make me so happy. From offering to order me pizzas while I'm working to ordering me a key chain that says "drive safe," it's the little things you've done to make me love you.

During my previous relationship, I had come to a custom of pulling out my card to pay for dates and thought it was okay to accept the fact that good morning text did not exist. Every morning since we started dating, you never forget to text me good morning. We almost fight over who is going to pay, because I can't expect you to pay for every date. You have shown me what to expect in a relationship.

You never fail to make me happy. Whenever I say I'm hungry, you get me Mexican. When I want to watch Netflix, you immediately put on The Office. I can mention one thing I want and you buy it because you know it will make me happy. You give me forehead kisses and it puts a smile on my face. Whenever I am upset, you won't get off the phone until you figure out what is wrong and make sure everything is okay.

You make me feel beautiful. I can come over in leggings and socks and Birkenstocks or I can come over in a nice shirt and booties, but either way, you tell me I'm beautiful. Whenever I just wake up and look a hot mess, you look me in my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful.

You always tell me to be careful whenever I'm driving and you make sure to tell me you love me every night before you go to bed. You remind me of things I know I'll forget and you literally read my mind. You motivate me with my schooling and tell me how proud you are of me when I make a good grade.

I never wanted to date again and I especially did not want to fall in love; however, you are everything I dreamed of wanting. I am so blessed to have met you and fallen in love with you. So to the boy who made me want to love again, I love you and thank you for everything.

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36 Hobbies To Take Up If You Want To Be The Next Best 20-Something Grandma

Pursuing something with needle and thread is a good start


Need a new hobby? Want to emulate a grandmother? Here are some great ideas for fun things to do in your spare time to get you ready to be the best grandma in 40-50 years!

1. Knitting

2. Baking

This hobby will also come with many friends wanting to try your creations.

3. Crocheting

4. Sudoku 

You gotta keep the mind healthy.

5. Crosswords

6. Cooking

7. Thrifting

Goodwill is your go-to for fabulous finds that won't break the bank.

8. Join a book club

Whether or not you actually read the book, either way it's a good way to socialize.

9. Yard Sale-ing

Don't tell me you didn't go yard sale-ing with your grandma at least once in your childhood.

10. Napping

11. Brunching

Food and friends (and a mimosa)... what's not to love about this hobby?

12. Spades

13. Hearts

14. Gardening

Figure out if you have a green thumb earlier rather than later.

15. Sewing

Being able to fix (or even make) your own clothes seems like both a creative outlet and a practical skill.

16. Antiquing

17. Cross-Stitching

Make some wall decorations for your room!

18. Power-walking

Why normal walk when you could speed walk?

19. Reading at 64-font on your Kindle

20. Read the newspaper

There's just something peaceful and nostalgic about reading a physical newspaper...

21. Collecting

Coins, dolls, you name it.... someone probably collects it.

22. Quilting

23. Rummy

24. Giving wise advice to those younger than you

25. Get a magazine subscription

26. Write hand-written letters to friends

It's fun and there is something so meaningful about taking the time to write it out and mail it.

27. Bridge

28. Curate a bomb matching pajama collection

29. Scrapbooking

Take your memories and add a creative touch... you won't regret it.

30. Tai Chi

I'm not a regular grandma, I'm a cool grandma...

31. Flower-arranging

32. Photography

Capture the moments of the loved ones around you!

33. Plan girls' trips with friends

34. Volunteer

Find time to give back to causes that you are passionate about!

35. Watch game shows

36. Watch soap operas

All the plot points and characters may be cringy, but they are so addicting!

Consider some of these hobbies if you find yourself looking for something to fill your time. When grandma-hood comes around, you'll be ready for it. And if you already do a lot of these things, well then we might as well go ahead and affectionately call you a 20-something grandma!

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