If you went up to a random stranger and asked them how much of their day they spend completely alone, (and sleeping doesn’t count) would you be surprised at the answer? Would you be surprised at your own answer?
It definitely seems like most people would say they spend most of their time with other people, and it's not surprising because you have to be around other people. I mean, you started out with parents and a family, and then had to go to school or work where you're most likely again surrounded by people.
Everyone says there are two things that are inevitable in life: death and taxes. But, I think another is human connection and meeting new people. It seems like you can't go through life with being around people and establishing relationships.
If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one of our next level needs, often called esteem needs, is for acceptance, a sense of belonging, a sense of companionship. And his theory is that you must meet lower level needs before reaching the top.
So if you want to achieve self-actualization you need people right?
Here’s another question that I was recently faced with, “Can you spend time alone?” Without your phone or talking to other people, do you feel uncomfortable when you’re alone in silence?
This was a question that faced many students whose answers seemed to be yes. And after hearing them out, it makes sense if you think about it, they want to talk to people, make connections and friendships and who can blame them?
And I want to too. But, I really enjoy self-reflection too. One of the things that I thought a lot about during my self-reflection was why I was doing it.
One thing that came to mind was the saying “I'd rather spend a life alone, than a life of loneliness” and that sometimes being alone doesn't mean being lonely. I thought about who I am and what my goals are. And I spent some time looking into the future.
Because when I'm surrounded by people, I find myself living in the present, but it's when I take a moment of self-reflection that I can look at the past and what I've accomplished and have yet to accomplish.
It's during these moments of self-reflection that I truly feel empowered and grateful for the life that I’ve been able to live.
I’ve always thought the terms introvert and extrovert referred to persons who prefer to be around people and those who prefer to be alone. Only I realized it's not that at all-- it just refers to where you get your motivation and energy.
So if you feel like you don’t get your motivation from people, try self-reflection. If you feel like you don't have a defined future or know where your future is going, I suggest self-reflection. If you feel like you don’t know who you are when you're not around your friends, I recommend self reflection.
And if you know where your future is going, find motivation in others and have amazing goals already, well sometimes a little self-reflection is kind of like reinforcement to strengthen your already established purpose.
