I met you in chance encounter.

We were together through plenty of hardships. We were together for what I imagined to be the long-haul. I gave you everything I had. I gave you trust. I gave to desire. I gave you loyalty. The only thing I asked in return was the same love and affection I had for you. Still, you found better in another girl. Still, you lied to my face as you entertained someone else. Still, I was never good enough.

Yet, I stayed--always hoping you would realize I was the only one for you. I would kneel at night and pray to the God up above that one day your eyes would open, allowing you to realize that I had the potential to be your forever. Therefore, I stayed, ignoring every sign that you never had the intention in catering to my needs.

I stayed with you even though you never appreciated me. I stayed, but you still left me in the end. You said to me, "We're only toxic for each other." It confused me because I felt like you were toxic for me, but I remained there for you, thinking I would become the antidote for the poison you were. However, here you were, breaking my heart all over again like you had done so many times before. It was not even a surprise anymore, but it did not soften the blow.

You are a professional at breaking my heart. You know all of the right things to say that will get me crawling right back to you. You know exactly how to act in order to get my hopes up. You know I will always come back to you, and you use it to your advantage and make me fall in love with you all over again. Then, without so much as a warning, you push me off the cliff and break me again.

You make my insides burns and my head ache. You are my one greatest desire, yet you are my biggest downfall. My love for you has roots that have set in the pit of my existence. It attaches to my soul and swirls around the inside of my body until I am completely consumed by you--by your laugh, your smile, your entire entity. Everything about you exhausts my mind.

It hurts because all I want is to love you with everything I have. I want to show you the complete adoration I have for you. I want love you in every kind of way I can--mentally, physically, and sexually. I want to surrender myself to you in ways that they only write about in the epic love stories.

Yet, you do not want me the way I want you. I need you with every piece of my soul. I want you with every part of my body. I have stood by you through everything. Despite every time you destroyed another piece of me by finding comfort with another woman, I forgave you. Despite every shred of my heart you yanked out my chest when you told me another lie, I came back to you. Despite the aches you repeatedly brought into my life, I know without a shadow of a doubt I will come back to you if you were to ask me.

You bring me the kind of pain that makes the whole world shatter beneath me. You hurt me so bad that the tears that fall from my face burn my eyes as they roll freely. You crush my spirit so fully that I have to find the will to get out of bed and continue like I am not hurt. I have shed more tears than I'd like to remember because of the pain you cause, but I have produced the most smiles with you by my side.

That's what hurts the most, I think. I know you have hurt me, and I know you will hurt me again. I even expect you to hurt me again, but I could never leave you. I love you so much that it hurts me. I want to let you go, but every time I am ready to leave you in my past, I think about you. You are in my head in everything I do, and it makes me sick to my stomach that you are not thinking about me.

I hate you so much for destroying the person I used to be. I hate you so much for taking every part of me and ruining it. I hate you so much for crushing me so deeply that I do not know where I am going to find another love like what I once had. I hate you so much for being able to move on like I meant nothing to you. I hate you so much for no longer being the person I could count on. Most of all, I hate you so much because despite you devastating my whole life, I still can't help cherish you with my entire presence.