You don’t like saying you have it, but, shit, you do. For those that aren't sure, anxiety is defined as "a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome." Once you've confirmed that you have anxiety, here are seven ways to help cope with it:
1. Everyone will think you are pretty laid-back, but that is your shield.
You shrug off most things, and let your friends crack jokes at your expense. You are especially cool with ragging on yourself since that gets lots of laughs. You’re sarcastic/sassy/relaxed/easy-going in situations that require the exact opposite. It’s your defense mechanism. This is how you survive the anxiety of fitting in and the fear of not being able to connect.
2. You will ask for criticism and take every word straight to heart.
You especially like honest people and try to surround yourself around good-natured people. They are honest with you about your faults, but don’t say them to your face; however, if you ask, they will tell you without sugarcoating. You will ask exes, friends, and family just exactly what they are thinking (you can see it on their face that they’re analyzing you). And when they tell you the words they are thinking, your first response is to fix that part of you. You go to work to work on you.
3. You try not to try hard, but you obsess over your appearance.
It’s not that you are wearing the wrong color coordination or that a certain skirt is so out of season. It’s that you think everyone, and I mean everyone, is looking at you. You obsess over if they can see that your face isn’t completely clear, if your hair looks a little too oily, if your legs look less than toned, if your teeth aren’t straight, if your arms are too short or long, if your figure isn’t the right size, if your laugh is too loud, if you are too aggressive, or too quiet, or too anything.
4. You are outspoken to a point, and then you shut down.
The thing is, you crave to say your opinion, but with the anxiety inside of you, you have a hard time choosing when to say it. You don’t know if the timing is appropriate, if anyone will agree with you, if it is too pushy, too weird, too dangerous, too safe, too boring, etc. This leads to battles in your head, and eventually, you blurt things out that you can’t take back. Other times, you are wishing you had said that something that you were thinking.
5. You pretend like nothing hurts you, but it cuts deep.
Friendship or relationship — doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. When you put your all into someone you don’t even expect the same back. You’re content with the friendship and that’s all that matters. But as soon as they do something to hurt you, to cheat on you, to say shit behind your back, to say shit to your face, you cut them out of your life. You’ll want to forgive them, but what they did can’t warrant forgiveness. You’ll cry your eyes out for a couple of months and before you know it, it hurts a little less. But, you never forget someone you love. Never.
6. You don’t like saying you have anxiety, but, shit, you do.
You hate it. I hate it. We all hate it. It’s like admitting something is wrong with you, and you’re desperately trying to fit into the square peg you were destined to fit in. The worst is when you have a panic attack because then, at some point, someone will see the anxious side of you that no one else is allowed to see. And after you have a panic attack? You feel insanely stupid and ridiculous. You don’t want anyone knowing. But you’re about as normal as the next person. You have to realize, normal is all relative. Society is dictating normalcy, not some unwritten handbook you weren’t handed.
7. You. Are. Not. Your. Anxiety.
Every time I think I’m going to get an anxiety attack, I think of the rain. Yup, the rain. It calms me like nothing else. I think of the way raindrops race each other on a window, how it sounds pattering against my roof, how it felt on my skin on a hot, humid day in July, and how it washes away all of my insecurities.
Find your thing. Sometimes you have to have that one person that can ground you back to Earth, sometimes it’s a simple thought, but whatever it is, your mind can’t go off on a tirade of hatred for yourself. You can’t let that happen.
Because you are better than your anxiety.
