To the girl who can't let go --
I know how you feel. You are afraid of letting go because of the "what if" possibility. You are afraid that the second you let go something will happen and you're going to miss it. I get it. I was once where you are now, and I'm here to tell you to let it go, that it is going to be okay. I know this idea sounds very scary, trust me, it is, but putting so much of your effort and time into something that is not rewarding or good for your mental, physical, or spiritual health helps no one.
Your'e afraid to let go of that one boy. You know the one. You are probably picturing him in your head right now as your reading this. He's that one that you see in your dreams every night and think about all day long. You have done this for years, waiting for the day that you have enough courage to tell him how you feel, knowing you never will because you are afraid of what he might say. You are afraid that he won't feel the same way. Or you know he does not feel the same way, but you still can't let go. It's that "what if" possibility. What if you let go and he does like you, or what if you let go and he realizes what he lost, or even what if you never let go and you find that you wasted all of your time on someone so insignificant. You don't want to admit to yourself that it wasn't worth it, that he wasn't worth it. Even when he is no longer the person you remember falling for, you still don't let go.
You're afraid to let go of your dreams. You have had this image in your head since you were a little girl of how your life would end up. You think about your future so often, you have formed this perfect image in your head. You know exactly what you need to do to get your life to that place. And then a piece of your plan doesn't go right, everything doesn't fall into place, and you start to freak out. But you pretend like everything is fine, that nothing happened. You're afraid that if you let others know, that all the years of daydreaming and imagining and effort would have been for nothing, that if you don't say it out loud then it is not really happening.
Well guess what? It is happening. No matter how hard you try to hold it in or pretend everything is hunky dory, it does not change anything. I know it is hard to admit, but it is something you have known for a while now.
But let me give you some advice, some words of wisdom from someone who has been where you are. It isn't worth it. The perfect life or boy or whatever is not worth any of it if you are not happy and healthy. I lived my life for so long as the girl who could not let go. And I was miserable. I had this perfect image of what my life was supposed to be like, of how I was going to end up with the perfect guy. I cared too much about everything and it controlled my life. I don't want this for you. It took me way too long to realize that I needed to let go to be happy.
Please, Don't hold on until it is too late to let go. Sometimes you as an individual comes before you as anything else. You deserve to be happy and healthy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
-- Someone who has been there
