An "almost relationship" is where you are usually talking to someone almost entirely through messaging where you both eventually share innate details about yourself and develop feelings for each other. You may talk about seeing each other but possibly never do. If you have, usually it ends horribly where one person will ghost the other for a millennium but that sometimes can happen before meeting each other, too. It is very similar to an ordinary hookup where they will leave unexpectedly without giving you an explanation.

I have experienced these "almost relationships" more than once. Not all exactly match up to the definition I created, but I am sure plenty of you have had similar experiences at least once. This article is dedicated to one particular one I had that struck me most but have learned a lot from. I call him, 'Golden Boy.' I hope no one has endured as much grief as me but if you have, understand that you are not alone and there is a silver lining on the other side. Patience is a virtue, and you will meet someone that treats you as their muse.

Dear Golden Boy,

I am not sure if you are reading this but wow, look at you being the star of my article. The name is quite clever too, isn’t it? There is more meaning to it than you may guess; perhaps you remember one of them or you don't. I cannot express enough for how long the pain you have caused me. I did not expect to fall for you when I first met you. It happened so quickly and I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I suppose it was especially easy to develop feelings for you when we were mostly talking through a screen. You start imagining things about the other person and also get to know things about them that they would not be as openly comfortable saying aloud. Through the late hours of the night to our 'good morning' messages and countless banter, I began to daydream about you until our next encounter.

I just could not get enough of you. I wanted to get to know you more each and every day since I met you. You intrigued me in a way no one else had before. It was remarkable you captured my attention and were able to hold it because trust me, I can get distracted and lose focus so easily. I was charmed. You were funny, smart, handsome and kind. I can easily say I was smitten by you, especially by your laugh and smile. They simply brought me great joy.

It made me very disappointed this could not work, especially after you were the one to tell me to just stay as friends and you later suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth. I had never connected with anyone as much as I did with you, especially one who understood everything so clearly who barely knew me. We even talked about dating and how it would possibly work while being in college in two separate states. That was when I thought you were actually serious about wanting to be with me. I started to believe in you and us.

I tried to move on and give you space. Unfortunately, I was having a difficult time getting you out of my head. One day you started to ignore me out of the blue and that made me feel worse because I felt I was losing you. Your actions made no sense since I thought you wanted to be friends. Why would "a friend" suddenly stop talking to you and not be able to respond to a simple message just asking 'how are you'? I was confused and I gradually began to lose hope you would come back. I constantly told myself that the way you were acting was just a phase. Your absence began to make me very uneasy.

The process was slow, but I took it one step at a time each day to move on from the fact you did not care and I should not either. Some days I found myself looking at your social media by accident and my heart would immediately drop. I did not like the way you made me feel when there was never even an "us" or a "we."

Frankly, I'm not sure if you wanted any of that at all when after we had built something together you suddenly had a sudden change of heart. You explained one of your reasons was because of her who was still stuck on your mind. I think it was just an excuse to let me go gently though that you could have just told me straight out. You also said you had to handle some personal things before stepping into a relationship again. I told you I could support you and help by your side, but you still declined. I find it all hard to believe, but I will still take your word for it.

I did not mind being "just friends" when you asked but you failed to try. I never liked hearing the "let's just be friends" card because it is always a grey area people rarely seem to keep to their word. With you it seemed genuine though, but that obviously did not become the case.

You were different from everybody else I have ever met. Our chemistry and personalities were in sync. We shared a few common interests too which made it all the better. We simply just clicked! Everything was so natural. My insecurities went out the window talking to you; I had the confidence to be myself, whether that be revealing the sassiest or silliest parts of me. You were real and there was no reason to hide myself from you.

I developed false hope though and you proved me terribly wrong. Meeting you left a presence in my life that for a moment I almost wished never came because days passed that eventually turned into months. I kept wondering if I ever came across your mind. It drove me over the edge; I think mostly the fact that I never wanted anything so badly before and couldn't have. I told you things I never said to anyone and that was one of the things that bothered me most because I laid so much trust in you to let you into my heart and mind.

I started to act up after you left and grew so upset, I began to not take good care of myself which was wrong in too many ways. I should not had let you have the power to control my feelings and well-being like that. I did not make smart decisions or act rationally; I wanted your attention, to simply talk again as we did before.

I did not like that us not speaking to each other bothered me to such an extensive degree that it became an obsession. You vanished and stopped responding to my messages. I tried really hard to not look at you in a poor light. My friends knew you were not right for me after treating me this way and making me become this person that was not me, but I kept convincing myself they were wrong.

The last time I saw you it was one, a miracle to hear a word from you and two, bewildering that you offered to see me again. I instantly had a spark of excitement and relief. I had a strange thought you hated me because you were ignoring me. Seeing you made me anxious, nervous and excited all at once. I wondered why you suddenly decided to come out of your shell to see and talk to me again.

We met at the clock in Grand Central Terminal, and I instantly beamed seeing your smile after so long. I had difficulty looking at you and talking to you though whenever your eyes met mine. My feelings immediately began to come back; I tried really hard to suppress them and not reveal what I evidently still felt for you. We then wandered and got lost in the streets of Manhattan. We jumped over puddles, stuffed our faces with food and listened to jazz down in Greenwich Village. I had a grand time; I hoped we would actually act like real friends after that night. Unfortunately, everything went back to square one the next day and you disappeared again.

You left me with no consistency. I didn't know what you wanted from me. It hurt me more after everything we talked about that very night. I really needed a good friend in that time through all the craziness that had been going on and you were of the few that knew but wasn't there. I don’t regret ever meeting you because it let me discover that someone like you exists in the universe, someone I can connect with completely, feel whole and experience the way I did with you. It also enabled me to give people a second chance again, even when I have given plenty more than I should have to others in the past, including you.

I've learned that it is okay to give people a limit to your kindness who don't reciprocate it back; I don't always have to keep giving or else I would be tearing myself apart and be left with nothing. I couldn’t have any of this holding me back from meeting someone who can give me everything I deserve, everything I need and much more. That person is going to see what they have in front of them should be held tight and given so much love they cannot see straight.

I tried sending you a message again a long time ago. I saw your read receipt and you didn't reply, as usual. This time I finallygot your message. As much as it hurt, I let go. Since then without fooling myself, I slowly began to take the steps to move forward and out of the darkness I made for myself; it wasn't easy. I had to learn to say goodbye to the one who gave me the courage to say hello.

In the short time I knew you, you became one of my best friends. You made your way to a special place in my heart. Maybe it was infatuation or maybe I just get attached too easily, but at that moment I thought I saw something so unique and magical between us.

Honestly, I am unsure how I would feel and act if you came back into my life again. I would not feel mad though, probably still just the smallest ounce of pain. You dragged me way too far to keep what I thought we had going. I can't keep repeating and following your same pattern again. I will not bother you anymore, even if it is to check and see how you are doing.

I felt so gravitated to you and maybe even went into extremes because of it since there was never any closure. A lot of things in my day would remind me of you and it did not make the transition easier. It took long enough for me to realize I can't continue chasing after people, reaching out to them, or giving any thought about them if they will not bother giving me the time of day.

I cared way more than I should have when I was never yours and you were never mine. "Shit happens" and maybe it is because I am young, I let my feelings get the best of me. I won't view this all negatively though. I am grateful, for this experience taught me the reality how much lack of confidence I had without you and needed to build up before meeting someone again. It let me see what else I needed to work on to have a healthy, stable relationship.

I don’t know if I will ever see you again and if you are reading this, if you can even admit to feeling anything for me back then; maybe it was just a fling to you. Whatever it may be, although it hurt me terribly and I cried a lot, I forgive you because I know you never intentionally tried to hurt me. I know you are better than that.

I am wiser and stronger than before. I may have scars but I am healing quickly. People tell me I have a big heart and don't understand how I can be so forgiving or can still see so much goodness in others after they have done me wrong. I can't give you an answer as to why I do the things I do because I don't understand it entirely myself, but I am happy and proud for the way I am. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Life is an adventurous journey. All of us will go through different kinds of heartache and we must learn how to grow from them to become better individuals. I would like to think in terms of relationships, you are one heartbreak closer to 'happily ever after.' This one taught me my true worth and how important my happiness is.

You will get past the relationship you almost had and better things will come your way. Someone amazing is just waiting to meet somebody like you who will pick you without hesitation and give you the entire world.

Golden Boy, you are one of the purest people I have ever had the honor of knowing. Even if it was for a short while, I was alive and bloomed. You were the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. This is one of the hardest farewells I ever had to tell. Until we meet again, I wish you all the best. I will be cheering for you from afar. Stay gold.