Let's be real, writer's block is a big deal. It sucks! Especially in college. It can hit the best writer at any moment. Meaning that essay you put off until the day before its deadline? It simply won't be completed in one night. No matter how much time you spend going over the assigned texts and the rubric, the words just won't come to you. It's frustrating and can, at times, drive one to the brink of insanity. But sometimes you can hold your breath and push yourself through the stages in record time. It all depends on your determination and your brain's cooperation. Here are the five stages of writer's block.
1. Staring at the blank page before you (open up the dirty window!)
Nothing is worse than murdering my retinas staring at a white sheet or screen for two hours while my brain runs in circles, scrambling to catch a hint of an idea. In this stage, I tend to think if I stare hard enough, the words might write themselves. Unfortunately, all this does is conjure headache and disappointment. I also fantasize about writing the best paper man has ever read and woman has ever edited. A shining example of my writing skill. My professor would praise me for it and frame all four pages of excellence. This of course, doesn't help either. I'm still far from even starting.
2. Hyperventilating
This is where the anxiety comes to kick you in the balls (or lady balls) and fill you with self-doubt. Why can't I think of anything? Was I ever able to write? Will I ever be able to write after this? The oh-my-god-whats-happening-I'll-never-write-again stage. Your mind is swarmed with worries of something being wrong because you. simply. cannot. write.
3. Tearing off your clothes and jumping into the shower
The shower is my ideal thinking space. My go-to when my brain is betraying me. There's something about the hot water and the smell of green apple conditioner that gets the gears in my mind grinding again. Grab a cup of cold coffee and sip it while the warm water cascades down your back. You'll be surprised the wonders it does. I've thought of everything from song parody lyrics to comedy sketches to soap opera premises in the shower.
4. Giving up and taking a nap
Maybe something will come to you in a dream? Stranger things have happened.
5. Exercising
My last resort is always to sweat out an idea. I get that it may not be many peoples' cup of tea, but honestly it helps. Warming up your muscles with some weights, stretching your limbs with yoga, running on a treadmill. Once the tears have stopped, you may notice that getting your body moving has kicked your brain back into high gear.
6. Finally breaking your block!
The clouds are parting and the sun shines through. The words seem to fall from the heavens. You can write again! Hallelujah! You thank Thor (or whomever you devote your faith to), pull up google documents and write like your life depends on it!
