It is okay to be scared of commitment
relationships

Don't Worry About Defining The Relationship, Just Be Present In The Moment

You're not the only one who is scared of it.

253
https://unsplash.com/photos/aULhq90ydEk?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText

I don't know about you, but commitment is and will always be a scary word for me specifically. Google gave me two definitions for the word commitment. The first defined it as being dedicated to a cause, activity, or person, and the second defined it as an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. The two key words that stood out the most to me were dedicated, and restriction.

Commitment can be a term that is used around rather loosely. Without even knowing it, we subconsciously commit ourselves every day to things we may not even realize. We commit to going to class, hanging out with friends, studying for a test, and exercising with our gym buddies at 2 p.m.

However, when one commits themselves romantically to another person, that is a whole different kind of commitment and it is no longer a loose term. When two people decide to take on the title of boyfriend and girlfriend, that is when the keywords of dedicated and restriction really come into play.

Those words can come off as very scary to some people because of the fact that when you are dating someone you are fully committed to them and in a weird way you lose part of your freedom.

The ultimate game plan of dating someone is that for the rest of your life you are restricted to only that one person forever. That can be a very, very scary thing to think about, and often times it tends to make some people run for the hills. Subconsciously, one might even start to self-sabotage the relationship without even realizing it- just because of how scared they are to be 'restricted' and tied down. Unfortunately, it can even bring some to cheat on their significant other in order to prove to themselves that they did not actually lose their freedom forever.

Constantly striving to please your significant other and putting the pressure on yourself to always make sure they know you are 'dedicated' and going out of your way to make them feel special and happy can eventually become a burden to you; especially if you feel that the work you are putting into the relationship is not being reciprocated.

A person that is claimed as 'yours' can end up being something that you or your significant other can get very protective over to a fault- and can quickly become unhealthy. There is a difference between having an obsession with someone and loving them in a healthy way.

Read that sentence over again. So many of my girlfriends have gotten into relationships and quickly dropped off the face of the earth. It is extremely important to have a balance when it comes to being in a relationship, and not to place all your happiness into your significant other.

It is safe to say that having the title of boyfriend and girlfriend can be something that brings in a lot of unnecessary and unwanted stress. Something that I learned from experience and time is that the title that two people decide to place on their relationship is not what should matter. Instead, the connection and bond that those two people share should be far more important than any title out there.

Personally, I think taking away or never having a title should not affect the way that two people decide to care or love for each other. If anything, I think it should help. It's simple math really. No title= less pressure. Less pressure= fewer expectations to constantly please someone. Less expectations= less stress.

In today's society, boys are encouraged to put themselves out there and get laid, contrary to if a girl is not in a relationship and she decides to 'play the game' she is stereotyped as a slut and someone who has lost morals. Commitment is not just a scary thing for boys. Some girls want to run wild and have all the freedom in the world when it comes to being romantically involved with someone. There is nothing wrong with that (to an extent!), and it is time we stop judging females for doing exactly what most single males are doing.

When it comes to being in a relationship with a significant other, it is important that regardless of having a title or not, you both are happy and are doing the most mature thing for your relationship. It is so important to evaluate if you are ready for commitment or not before taking that step with someone. If not- there is absolutely no shame in playing the game. After all, we are only young and beautiful once.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIKdnMHcGr/

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments