It is okay to be scared of commitment

Don't Worry About Defining The Relationship, Just Be Present In The Moment

You're not the only one who is scared of it.


I don't know about you, but commitment is and will always be a scary word for me specifically. Google gave me two definitions for the word commitment. The first defined it as being dedicated to a cause, activity, or person, and the second defined it as an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. The two key words that stood out the most to me were dedicated, and restriction.

Commitment can be a term that is used around rather loosely. Without even knowing it, we subconsciously commit ourselves every day to things we may not even realize. We commit to going to class, hanging out with friends, studying for a test, and exercising with our gym buddies at 2 p.m.

However, when one commits themselves romantically to another person, that is a whole different kind of commitment and it is no longer a loose term. When two people decide to take on the title of boyfriend and girlfriend, that is when the keywords of dedicated and restriction really come into play.

Those words can come off as very scary to some people because of the fact that when you are dating someone you are fully committed to them and in a weird way you lose part of your freedom.

The ultimate game plan of dating someone is that for the rest of your life you are restricted to only that one person forever. That can be a very, very scary thing to think about, and often times it tends to make some people run for the hills. Subconsciously, one might even start to self-sabotage the relationship without even realizing it- just because of how scared they are to be 'restricted' and tied down. Unfortunately, it can even bring some to cheat on their significant other in order to prove to themselves that they did not actually lose their freedom forever.

Constantly striving to please your significant other and putting the pressure on yourself to always make sure they know you are 'dedicated' and going out of your way to make them feel special and happy can eventually become a burden to you; especially if you feel that the work you are putting into the relationship is not being reciprocated.

A person that is claimed as 'yours' can end up being something that you or your significant other can get very protective over to a fault- and can quickly become unhealthy. There is a difference between having an obsession with someone and loving them in a healthy way.

Read that sentence over again. So many of my girlfriends have gotten into relationships and quickly dropped off the face of the earth. It is extremely important to have a balance when it comes to being in a relationship, and not to place all your happiness into your significant other.

It is safe to say that having the title of boyfriend and girlfriend can be something that brings in a lot of unnecessary and unwanted stress. Something that I learned from experience and time is that the title that two people decide to place on their relationship is not what should matter. Instead, the connection and bond that those two people share should be far more important than any title out there.

Personally, I think taking away or never having a title should not affect the way that two people decide to care or love for each other. If anything, I think it should help. It's simple math really. No title= less pressure. Less pressure= fewer expectations to constantly please someone. Less expectations= less stress.

In today's society, boys are encouraged to put themselves out there and get laid, contrary to if a girl is not in a relationship and she decides to 'play the game' she is stereotyped as a slut and someone who has lost morals. Commitment is not just a scary thing for boys. Some girls want to run wild and have all the freedom in the world when it comes to being romantically involved with someone. There is nothing wrong with that (to an extent!), and it is time we stop judging females for doing exactly what most single males are doing.

When it comes to being in a relationship with a significant other, it is important that regardless of having a title or not, you both are happy and are doing the most mature thing for your relationship. It is so important to evaluate if you are ready for commitment or not before taking that step with someone. If not- there is absolutely no shame in playing the game. After all, we are only young and beautiful once.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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