If you're like me and emotionally unstable, although I prefer the phrase "delightfully dramatic," then you understand the emotional roller coaster that is getting a haircut. Hair is one of the ways that girls define themselves. Whether we just got out of a relationship, the seasons are changing, or it's just time for a trim, we experience grief over the loss of our hair. Here are the phases that I (and others who are unwilling to admit) go through when getting a new do.
1. Denial: Make high and unreachable expectations.
My go-to is Pinterest. Who cares if that girl's hair is a whole half of a foot longer than yours? This girl has a certificate so she has to transform me, right? Wrong. Look for pictures of your hair length, naturally straight or naturally wavy/curly, etc. Say it to yourself out loud that you will never be a Kardashian and that's okay. Then probably have a glass of wine and let that truth mull over, whatever works.
Tip: if you want to see what your hair will REALLY look like, wear your normal face of makeup. Do NOT just roll out of the bed and into the salon. Because if you look like you crawled out of the pits of Hell when you woke up, you're still going to look like that, but with new hair. So do yourself a favor and compliment your new hair with a pretty face.
2. The breakdown: I'M BALD!
Do yourself a favor and don't look at the ground while getting your hair cut. Watching my hair being cut off and fall to the ground is, honestly, what I can only assume a vasectomy is like. Ignore that furry ground sea and just focus on the outdated hair product ads on the walls and thank the Lord that you don't have that heinous pixie cut. Besides, all of that hair on the ground was split ends anyway. Aren't you glad you aren't nappy anymore?
3. Acceptance: Check your reflection in every mirror, microwave, and toaster.
My mom tells me that after I get my haircut, I run my fingers through my hair constantly. I like to think that's kind of similar to how when animals are hurt, they lick their wounds for comfort. Remember this: hair grows back. It may feel like five years and it may actually be five years but it will (eventually) grow back.
No matter if you look like Mr. Clean or Lil Wayne after a haircut, always remember that the emotional stress is normal. Hair means a lot to us for some unknown reason. It makes us the divas we are. So go on and live your life, newly transformed fierce bitch. Own that ponytail. Work that up-do.
