It’s a spinning wheel.

He or she is abusive – mentally/emotionally or physically. He or she says they will stop. He or she apologizes. You believe them.

Then, it happens again.

Then, they say they will stop... again. They apologize... again. You believe them... again.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I am a confident girl – some might say too confident. I don’t take you-know-what from anybody. I have high self-esteem. I truly do love myself. I believe in myself. I know I am good and will succeed at whatever I put my mind to.

Yet, despite all of these things, I’ve found myself in two abusive relationships in my lifetime.

One was mental abuse—the kind that screwed with your head and made you wonder if you were going crazy... the kind that made you wonder if you were actually in the wrong—even when your confidence was so high that you knew, deep down, you weren’t in the wrong.

One was physical. Maybe this sounds stupid, but out of both kinds of abuse, I never expected to be involved in this kind--despite the statistics.

Without going into detail, I found myself in this situation one night. It had been escalating for a while, but I never thought it would get to what it did. I was stunned, shocked, flabbergasted, betrayed. I did not know what to do. Well, I did—but I also didn’t.

I confided in friends, and all of them had the same thing to say. “Leave him.” And deep down, I knew that was the right answer because, deep down, I promised myself that if a man ever raised his hand to me, I would be gone.

But, when I found myself in the situation, leaving was not as easy as I thought it would be.

And, maybe it never is. Like I said, I've only been in one physically abusive relationship in my life.

I felt guilt. I felt like if I stood in my own power, if I stood up for myself, put my foot down, I would cause something drastic to happen. And, I didn’t want that responsibility, even if it wouldn’t really be my responsibility.

But, think about it—even if you knew you were right, wouldn’t you feel somewhat responsible if something bad happened? Wouldn’t you feel somewhat guilty?

Maybe some of you wouldn’t. Maybe some of you would.

I know I would.

In the United States, approximately 20 individuals per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. Adding those statistics up, this means 10 million women or men. (Yes, men can be victims of domestic violence too.)

In fact, 25 percent of men have been victims of some form of physical violence by a significant other in their lifetime, and one in seven have been victims of severe physical violence in their lifetime.

What’s worse? Out of all those people who have been subjected to domestic violence, only 34 percent of them who are injured seek medical care for their injuries.

I am sure you are wondering. What did I do?

Thankfully, I was not injured. I did not have to seek physical medical care.

My mental state? Well, that’s another story.

Did I file a police report or even call the police? No. I did not. I know some of you are thinking “What? Why?”

I did not want to deal with it, to be frank. I did not want it to drag along. As an attorney, I know how long a criminal complaint can stay in the system. I did not want to ruin a career, as pathetic as that sounds.

Mostly, I wanted to process it, feel the emotions, let all of it go, forgive and move on.

But, I also want to send a message.

Don’t stand silent.

Even though I did not file a police report, I confided in several friends I trusted. I confided in my mom, to a certain extent.

I did speak about it—to get it out. I cried. I yelled. I journaled. I prayed. I spoke to my form of a Higher Power.

Even if you do not go to the police, even if you do not seek medical help, please do something to channel your emotions.

Talk to a friend. Cry. Scream. Take a kickboxing or boxing class. Buy a punching bag. Find some sort of outlet for your emotions. If you are ready and willing, talk to someone you trust.

No one deserves to be abused—physically or mentally. Maybe it seems like you deserve it at the time. Maybe you can think of all the things you did wrong to cause your significant other (or ex-significant other) to take it out on you.

But, listen to me: You do not deserve it. No one deserves it.

We, as women and men on this Earth, are worth so much more, no matter who we are. And even if we think we will never find someone again, we will—especially someone who loves us and treats us the way we deserve to be treated.

You are not alone. You will never be alone, even if it seems like it. There will always be an ear, a friend, something.

And, if you truly do not have anything or anyone, please consider seeing a counselor or calling a domestic violence hotline. While many states have their own hotline, there is also a national one you can call.

You can reach them at 1-800-799-7233. You can also find them online, if you feel comfortable going to an online source (some victims live with their significant others and may have their computer activity monitored) at this website.

And, if you are an advocate and someone who wants to volunteer to help others, you can visit this page. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has job opportunities, donation opportunities and more.

But, please, if you take anything away from this post: Know that you are worth so much more. Know that you deserve so much more. Know that you do not deserve to be abused, physically or mentally.

To quote my favorite book, “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” “we accept the love we think we deserve.”

Take a stand. Believe in this, believe in that quote, believe in yourself and your incredible power as a human being and as an individual.

Accept the love you think you deserve.