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Health and Wellness

The Confessions of A Pure Romance Consultant

Oh, you sell sex toys.

Bree Carey

Jan 23, 2017

Hamline University

492

The Confessions of A Pure Romance Consultant

Independent

When I say

I am a Pure Romance Consultant

People respond

Oh, you sell sex toys.

They spit the phrase like it's

a dirty word.

They treat me like

I said I sell drugs

Or my body

Or my soul.

They think that

Just because I sell sex toys

They can make crude remarks

About my work

About my clients

About my body

About me.

But when I say

I am a Pure Romance Consultant

I mean a lot more.

I mean

I am a Relationship Saver

What I have here in this bag

Yes, it can fix the problems you have in bed.

She says she hasn't had sex in two years

Because she isn't attracted to him anymore

She says she is afraid she doesn't love him

She doesn't know that the medications she takes for her anxiety,

The ones that allow her to leave the house each day,

Have stolen her desire

And dried her loins

Til they are barren as the Sahara.

I am a Problem Solver

Because I've Got A Product For That!

I am a body teacher.

The things I have been trained in

Yes I can help you.

She says she has never orgasmed.

She doesn't know how.

She wonders if she is broken.

She doesn't know how to please herself,

Let alone how to let a man please her.

I am an Educator.

Because I've Got A Product For That

And sweetheart, call me when it works

Because I'm gonna buy you a balloon.

I am a Cheerleader

because I won't judge you the way others will.

Yes, I think you are a good person.

She worries she isn't worth a man's touch

Because she has been touched so much

And she cringes away

Thinking words like "Whore" and "Slut"

But I am an encourager

And I've Got A Product for That.

Because she deserves to feel cherished.

So yes I sell sex toys

But I also sell more than that.

I sell confidence in a bottle.

I sell liquid libido.

I sell a happier sex life

I sell better self-esteem

I sell relaxation in a busy life

And excitement in a boring night

I can't sell happiness

But I can sell Pure Romance

And that is basically the same thing.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Confessions of A Pure Romance Consultant

Oh, you sell sex toys.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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