I worked so hard to earn your approval. There were times that I thought I had by coming in early and leaving late. By being satisfied by the amount of playing time I received, even though it was little to none. By asking questions that everyone else was afraid to ask. None of it mattered. You had your favorites and acted like you had none by trying to support everyone equally, but that never happened. I almost quit my passion because of you. I was ready to move on with my life without this sport that has been my life for years. But, I proved you wrong and I am thankful for every minute that you coached through all the literal blood, sweat, and tears.
My freshman year of high school. I wasn't expecting to get too much playing time just because I was a freshman. You were new and did not know a lot, so it was pretty rocky. However, as the games started rolling, you had your key players and surprisingly I played more than I expected. I didn't get a lot of points, but I got some minutes. My team was great and we had some great players that led the team well. We had an even season and was excited for next year where I was hoping to lead the team as a sophomore.
Sophomore hit and it hit me hard. I worked hard over the summer and trained to become a starter my last year on the JV team. I was ready for tryouts and pumped to get practicing for a successful season, but something was different. You didn't encourage me as much as you used to. I thought you were going to build me up as a leader, but instead it felt like I was entering my second year as a freshman. You yelled at me for slacking and not working hard enough even though I thought I was. But, then I realized he might just be trying to say that he expects more of me. So, I just kept going.
Then, the games started. I received less playing time now than when I was a freshman. When I got into the games I scored 10 points or over and got 4 or more rebounds, but by the next game you acted like I was the last person you wanted to play. I tried to keep it together. I tried to give you encouraging and inspiring letters so that you would encourage me. That never happened. You continued to work on your favorites and to not even bother looking my way. You tried to convince me that you sent texts to the team everyday about practice, but I never got them. You claimed that I was included, but I never was.
I went home crying after every practice because no matter what I did I was never good enough for you. I thought it was a sign that I should just give up. Obviously I wasn't cut out for the basketball world. But, then I discovered that if I quit that means I would let you win. I would let you win. And I'm so glad I didn't. It didn't get better when I was on Varsity, but at least they believed in me. So, all in all, thank you. Thank you for not believing in me because it taught me to be strong in who I am on and off the court.
