Recently, a few friends and I discussed just how lonely college can be. This may seem strange, for we are literally surrounded by thousands of other students, but in fact it is too true. As college students, we are always bustling and running about. We are swarmed with classes and meeting after meeting. Even during our chances to relax, we spend it with friends, whether it be eating, sleeping, watching TV, etc. We are physically never alone. How then can we feel so lonely?
Maybe it is because we are simply too busy to ever feel lonely. Or potentially that we don’t know each other well enough—I mean, there are 18+ years of our lives that we have yet to share.
Regardless, every now and then I look around, and though I see so many other people among me, I feel alone, and that terrifies me. Why? Why am I so afraid of being alone?
I often find that society has defined loneliness as being bad. The word itself implies that a lonely person is not loved, has no companions, may be facing depression, etc. When I register that the emotion I am experiencing is loneliness, I am paralyzed. Perhaps it is because difficult personal experiences begin to resurface during these moments. Recently, however, I have come to realize that the root of my fear stems from something other than my history. You see, I am terrified of loneliness because it means for once in my day I have time to think.
Thinking, I argue, is mankind’s most powerful weapon—for good or for bad. By thinking, we are able to be innovative, modern, progressive, and more. By thinking, we have to face reality, and to me, the biggest reality I have been facing is the question of identity. Who am I? Do I like who I am? Do I like who I am becoming? By thinking, we are able to define who we are.
People often argue that spending too much time in one’s thoughts is unhealthy, but like most things, moderation is key. I’d like to challenge society’s definition of loneliness. I find that when I have time for introspection, I am able to improve myself. I view being alone as an opportunity to discover whether I like who I am and whether I want to change or not. Granted, the emotions that come with being alone provide no means of enjoyment, but I find that time to be valuable. We are constantly working to build our resume, but when do we ever have time scheduled to work on ourselves? And isn't our character of utmost importance?
Loneliness is not a time of isolation and self-wallowing, but instead an opportunity to grow. It is a time where, despite our hectic schedules, we are able to simply be and process our thoughts. It gives us time to think—not about our next test or meeting, but about ourselves, which is difficult. Loneliness isn’t a moment of unpopularity, but a period where one is able to go back to his or her roots. And that is the beauty of it.
