The movie "Perks of Being A Wallflower," written by Stephen Chbosky, was released in 2012. To say the very least, this movie rocked my world. It related to 17-year-old me perfectly. At the time, I was dealing with many challenges and changes. Being young and trying to keep on the straight and narrow is no easy feat. For those that don’t know, the movie is about an introverted freshman, who is taken under the wings of two seniors who welcome him to the real world. The movie addresses the tough stuff we deal with as young people. It presents it all in an honest and raw way. Topics such as depression, angst, fear of failure, confusion, great loss, and much more are discussed. The film shows you how to face such adversities and the sort of power that lies within each of us. It goes into the adventures of love, friendship, self-growth and expression, wonder, and the significance of our words. The movie really captured coming of age with such relatable characters and lines.
Good ol’ depression
“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”
The main character, Charlie is extremely introverted. He is shy to truly express who he is, to chase after what he wants, he feels that he is damaged goods. Of course, this view of himself is false. He had sheltered himself from the world (along with dealing with pains from his childhood), so he never was able to take the blinders off. His friends Sam and Patrick open his eyes and mind to see the special that he was.
Teenage angst
“I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.”
From childhood into our teens we hear the saying, “Be grateful for the food you have to eat, there are kids in China starving!” These words can be true, but harsh. When this logic is used comparing one person’s home life to another it can become detrimental. Everyone lives different lives along with deals with different levels of difficulty. Their circumstances could be the worst that they know, the most unfortunate circumstances they have experienced.
Mistakes
“But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things.”
No matter how many times you have messed up, or how big or small the offense, you can ALWAYS start again. You have to believe that and not allow yourself to be frozen in regret.
Confusion
“Try to be a filter, not a sponge.”
Instead of getting tangled in the crowds of pressures, be a filter. Take the beneficial, and leave the poisonous.
Wonder
“I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why.”
Always pushing yourself to see the other side of situations and not just take things as they are. This eliminated stereotypes and wrong assumptions.
Love, love, love
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
“And I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love her. Because there was nothing to gain, and that didn't matter.”
Love is tough. It can be hard to sort through, and even harder to understand at a young age. I found the first quote to ring truest for me. For a long time, I didn’t know my worth or value, so I thought I wasn’t deserving of great love… The second quote is more of my understanding of love currently. When you are able to desire someone for them and not looking to gain anything from them.
Friendship
“I am very interested and fascinated how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.”
In high school especially, but even now being young adults, we have to deal with “fake friends.” They may be people that say how much they love us, but never really show it. On the other hand, some people keep others close to reap the benefits, however, do not genuinely care for that person. To stop this cycle, decide you are going to be sincere in all of your relationships.
Self-growth
“Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. And I will always believe the same about you.”
Times are rough, but they pass. Spring always blooms the prettiest flowers, even after the coldest winter.
Significance of words
“It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.”
“I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has.”
When you have someone that believes in you, you are able to do so much more. Whether it is self-generated words of confidence or from loved ones, they allow you to conquer mountains. If you see the good in someone, tell them!! Speak words of confidence, love, encouragement, support, and hope. We need that, and so does everyone else, especially the difficult people.
It is ok to be below average. It is not ok to live like you don’t exist.
“I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn't do or what they didn't know.”
You are alive and well, live like it.
Goodbyes don’t have to be sad
“I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school, and you helped me. Even if you didn’t know what I was talking about, or know someone who’s gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don’t happen. And there are people who forget what it’s like to be sixteen when they turn seventeen. I know these will all be stories someday, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song, on that drive with the people who you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.”
While in high school everyone has to say goodbye to the life they knew so well for four years, we are doing the same thing as our college adventure comes to a close. Saying farewell to sweet friends, rad professors, familiar spots, and for many, the happening campus life. My advice would be to embrace the middle part and to not be so worried about it going away. Endings are bittersweet, but take the bitter with the sweet.
