It’s natural human instinct to always be on the lookout for the next best thing. We could be perfectly happy in our lives, and yet we are still looking for ways to improve upon that happiness. We disregard and take for granted the happiness that we have in our lives in exchange for something better. I believe we need to rid of “the grass is always greener on the other side” mentality, and start realizing that happiness lies within our own hands -- so start watering the grass you're standing on.
Generally in relationships (at least the healthy ones), we are getting roughly 80 percent of what we want. Commitment, affection, attentiveness, loyalty, honesty… yaddayaddayadda. Give or take a few of these qualities, we end up still craving the other 20 percent of whatever it is that our relationships are lacking. For example, maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t as social or outgoing as you are. We mistake this quality as him or her being standoffish or uninterested. We poison our own minds with our overthinking and create problems out of nothing. We take the lacking 20 percent and run with it as an excuse to find an imperfection in our happiness.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m a writer, but when it comes to displaying my emotions and feelings towards my love interests, I could more than likely write them a short novel on how important that person is to me. In turn, if my partner isn’t as expressive with their emotions, I take it the wrong way and start to believe that his feelings for me just aren’t there. The 20 percent of poison begins to take over again creating unnecessary drama, arguments, fights, doubt, or whatever it may be.
But then I remind myself, there’s a whole other 80 percent of genuine happiness that I am getting.
People show love in different ways. If we point fingers and make problems out of the things that aren’t being expressed the way we wish they were, we’re only making things harder on ourselves. It’s time we pay more attention to the 80 percent we’re getting, and come to terms with the 20 percent that isn’t up to par.
However, there’s always the danger of one day meeting our 20 percent. We’ll get so swept off our feet and carried away in what they’re giving that we delve into whatever it is they have to offer as they are seemingly perfect. They’re the 20 percent you’ve been craving. But we need to remember that 20 percent is a disguise and is a reminder that we’ll be much happier and better off with the 80 percent we were lucky enough to claim, but not aware enough to acknowledge.
We’ve all made the mistake of tossing away our 80 percent for the 20 percent until you realize you’re stuck with only 20 percent of happiness. Let me put it in food terms: That’s less than one quarter of a pizza. And nobody is happy with that.
Life isn’t perfect, nor is it meant to be. But believe it or not, it’s these little burdens and frustrations that make it all the more meaningful. Without them, we wouldn’t realize all the happiness we had all along. “Sometimes you have to have the bad days to appreciate the good ones.”
Before you want to pick an argument with your significant other and tell him or her that things aren’t where they should be, you should consider where you stand percentage-wise with this person. If he's your 80 percent, don’t let him go. If they’re a sad, small, unwanted tiny slice of pizza percent, toss it away. Search for the right slice. You’ll be happier -- and that’s 80 percent guaranteed.