Ah, April, my old friend. You always seem to sneak up on me. You are the month of endless projects, exams, and a million random assignments that professors somehow think are acceptable to assign with only two weeks left in the semester. As a double-major taking 22 credit hours this semester, it seems that whenever I finish one assignment, there are 10 more waiting for me in the wings. And even as a junior, even with all of my experiences, ups and downs, and acquired knowledge, there is one beast that has been haunting me since middle school: Procrastination. (Dun, dun duuuuuun!)
Yep you guessed it! As college kids, we all know that we should work ahead and get our assignments done early, and maybe study a few days in advance for that big exam, but sometimes we just can't do it. We procrastinate, because maybe we need a break sometimes.
So without further ado, here are the eight phases of procrastination that we all go through.
Phase 1: Ease
This phase is great, and it happens right away, on syllabus day. Your professor hands out the calendar, and it's super organized and pretty. For a split-second, you actually believe that it won't be that hard to get all your work done. And then:
Phase 2: The Second Day Panic
"Welp." Day Two comes along, and suddenly you've gotten10 more syllabi from your various professors. The panic begins to set in and the dark cloud of impending doom has begun to form over your head. Also your hand is cramping already from just thinking about all papers you're going to have to write!
Phase 3: Planning
At this point you want to at least feel productive, so you start to form a semester to-do list which you will re-write a million times throughout the semester and probably never stick to. But it feels darn good writing it!
Phase 4: False Security
This is the, "Yo! I don't have anything due tomorrow so let's get crunk!" phase that happens on and off throughout the semester. You feel young, free, happy, but Lord knows this happiness isn't going to last, because April sneaks up behind you and suddenly it's:
Phase 5: Finals! Eek!
LOL at your life right now! This is the phase where you are literally just internally screaming because you decided to go out when you should have been studying. You now have three papers to write, a group project to complete, and 30 exams to study for.
Phase 6: Cramming
This is the hell phase. You can't eat, sleep, or function. Caffeine has become your only source of sustenance, and you call your mother at lease five times a day, on the verge of tears because you have so much to do. You also can't seem to remember anything from the the past four months. Like, "How do I even spell college?"
Phase 7: Exhaustion
Wowza! Well, you successfully pulled three all-nighters and actually think you might have not failed! Congrats! After all of your work is complete, you go home and sleep for the next two days. You may even skip a few classes because hey, you deserve it!
Phase 8: Repeat
Eh, skipping class was probably a bad idea...
