Many people tell horror stories of how they have contracted a plethora of illnesses during finals. Having the flu, mono, or even a minor cold can really hinder your performance on an exam and physically exhaust you, preventing preparation for tests. But there is another prevalent disease that strikes all of us at some point—writer’s block. I personally come down with it at least once or twice during finals. This plague that one may experience occurs when they sit down to write a paper but realize that they just can’t put their thoughts into coherent sentences; it can be mentally crippling. We’ve all been sick with this, as we spend hours staring at a blank screen, racking our brains for something to type. Here are the stages of this epidemic that we are all ever so familiar with:
1. You sit down with confidence, ready to begin your paper.
You find a nice space, get out all of your notes and materials, a fresh, blank document open on your laptop, and you are ready to go.
2. You spend the first five minutes making sure you set up a nice header.
This is clearly the most important part, as you have to make your paper look as professional as possible.
3. Now it’s time to get started, and of course you need a catchy opening sentence.
To start with a question? A statistic? A quote?
4. Here is where it hits you. You can’t think of a single thing to write.
And you have nothing.
5. So you go back and try to plan some more.
Time to rack your brain for all that you know, trying to form a coherent position.
6. Next, you graduate from staring at your notes to staring at the prompt.
Because maybe if you look at it for long enough, you will be stricken with inspiration.
7. About 20 minutes later, you finally have something!
Oh wait. No you don’t.
8. Repeat step 7 multiple times.
This goes on for a while.
9. After all of this work, you are clearly exhausted.
“If I take a nap, I’ll wake up refreshed with new ideas.”
10. Alright, now it's time to get back to work.
Unfortunately, nothing has changed and you are back to staring into the ink-marked abyss that is your notebook.
11. After another few hours or days of this strenuous exercise, it hits you.
All of a sudden, everything makes sense
12. Out of nowhere, you’re cured and your paper just begins to flow, and more than likely, you finish in about half the time that it took you to start.
It’s a miracle.
Writer’s block is a mysterious and corrupt parasite that feeds off of our time and brain power and likely cures itself. The recommended methods of recovery include snack breaks, browsing the internet for funny videos, procrasti-cleaning, and naps—lots of naps.
