Want to know how to make me instantly hate you? Drink and drive. By doing so, you will join the people-I-want-nothing-to-do-with list. Some may think that is kind of harsh. Others will get it. There is just one difference in those people. One has lost someone to drinking and driving and one hasn't. If it wasn't made clear enough, I am one of those people who has.
I was young when it happened, but I still remember every single detail. I lost my cousin who was not only someone I considered a friend but who was also my big brother figure. Growing up I was basically glued to his side. In a lot of pictures, you see me with him. Losing him turned my world upside down and it is something that will always bother me.
Before you ask, he wasn't the one who was drinking or driving. He was only 14 at the time. No, he wasn't being a reckless teenager. He wasn't with his friends. He did nothing wrong in the situation, except maybe trust the wrong person. The drunk driver who took my cousin from the world way too soon was his own father. One selfish act changed my whole family. I watched my aunt age overnight. I had to watch his sister get married with just a picture of him on the piano. He never got to drive, graduate from high school, or even really live.
Its been 12 years since we lost him. I miss him every day that I think about it. His sister has five sons now. They know who their uncle is but they will never know him personally. They will never have the amazing memories that I have. Four wheeler rides through fields and huge mud puddles and long car rides to Texas together. I hold on tight to the good memories, but unfortunately, the bad ones are there too.
Even though I was young, I remember my parents sitting me down to tell me the news. I remember watching it on the news at my great-grandparents' house. I remember coloring a picture for him at the funeral. I remember it all even though part of me wishes I didn't. My pain will never measure up to what my aunt and cousin felt and still continue to feel. Do I still hate the man that took him from us? Yes, but it is something I am trying to work though because hating him doesn't bring my cousin back.
I still think of him often and remember the good times. When I am going through a tough time I talk to him, because I know he is one of my guardian angels. Every year on his birthday, which is actually just two days before mine, I watch what used to be his favorite movie and is now mine. "The Nightmare Before Christmas" will always be special to me because it is my last real connection to him. Small things like that give me comfort in the fact that he made an impact in my life in such a short time.
Next time you're out with friends, or just drinking alone: Please think. Don't ruin people's lives over one stupid decision. Remember that it is never worth it. There are always people around willing to drive you home just to avoid catastrophes like this. If it sounds like a good idea, just think of a little girl standing in a graveyard biting her lip, because that's what she learned to do when something went wrong with her amazing cousin.
