We've all been there. That cute boy in your dorm building, or your 8 am English class is right there. But who in the world would just walk up and say, "Hey"? There's got to be a better way. You've probably wracked your brain for the pickup line or flirty move that will catch that Greek God of a man off guard and make him fall head over heels in love for you. Let me just tell you, you are on the right track. I am here to tell you how you can get the guy.
1. Remove every. single. hair. from your body.
2. Find out his favorite team and paint your whole self accordingly.
3. Feed him by hand, because everyone knows animals (aka homo sapiens) are attached to their primary food source.
4. Kidnap his cat -- he will then be forced to visit you AND Fluffy.
5. Use pickup lines. Traditional flirting is overrated, puns are underrated.
6. Perform an autobiographical monologue for him. Who says Tinder is the only place for a well-worded introduction?
7. Introduce yourself to his family first, like the good old days of arranged marriages. (Bonus if you give them a goat in order to court their son.)
8. Stand outside his window yelling poetry you've written about him because everyone loves a good poem.
9. Give him a spontaneous haircut. He'll respect your spontaneity and how much you care about his appearance.
10. Walk around with a baby doll or, even better, steal a baby. Everyone knows that babies get guys' biological instincts going.
11. Make Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson your #bodygoal. Dudes LOVE The Rock.
12. Find out where he shops and buy the same outfits so you can twin. If he likes it on himself, he will love it on you.
13. Learn to faint on cue and let him save you, so you can be the perfect damsel in distress.
14. Wear makeup 24/7, and maybe learn how to tolerate a corset. After all, men want REAL women.
15. Learn his life via social media. He will be impressed with your detective skills.
16. Photoshop your faces together to create potential pictures of your future children so he knows the potential you hold.
17. Find all of his exes and tell them to back off so you have no threats.
So I'm hoping you'll step up your game and take some inspiration from this collection of unique ideas. Try it before your girlfriends so you can get the best catch of them all!
