Look at this stuff.

It isn't cheap!

Wouldn't you think my insurance would meet?

Meet me halfway and pay —

or pay for everything...

I've got Paxil and Prozac a-plenty

I'm running out of Zoloft — oh lord

Doctor prescribed Lexapro?

$120!

But it'll help?

No refills?

I'm done no more.

According to examinations performed by the National Center for Health Statistics between 2005 and 2008, 11 percent of Americans aged 12 years and older take antidepressant medications. Let's have a sit-down talk about antidepressants. I am no stranger to anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. In fact, anti-depressants have played a key role in my mental health transformation. Over the last couple of years, I have found myself being kicked around in toxic relationships, not mixing with the "in-crowd" during social situations and even quitting jobs because of the intense pressure of certain tasks. Although I have terminated my medical use of them, antidepressants and mood stabilizers helped me get back on track with my levels of Serotonin and Dopamine. The following points are uncut, real life moments (with a small twist of humor) about the before and after results of taking anti-depressants and mood stabilizers.

1. Sticking To The Schedule

After a year or so had passed, taking the medications had become routine.I didn't like swallowing pills every day, and honestly, couldn't tell if they were ever really working. I didn't have the patience to set alarms on my phone or lug around little orange maracas in my purse. Occasionally, I would simply get lazy and forget to take my meds. This led to unbalanced emotions, crying fits, thoughts about the apocalypse and end to all humanity, and frequent nail biting.

2. The All-Powerful WebMD

I know I am not alone when I say that I have looked up my emotional state and matched the symptoms to some horrible Psychological condition and have convinced myself that I am dying. I would see the types of anti-depressants and glance over at the side effects and scare myself out of taking the medications purely because of the side effects... which may have also included dying.

3. Coming Down

This is where I will get a little serious. Two months ago, I finally decided to end the reign of the Rx and try to heal without them. As I mentioned earlier, my medications did help me for a while. (It took a few tries to find the right kind of anti-depressant.) When I finally settled on Wellbutrin and a pill for my anxiety, they mixed well together. About a day before I quit the medication, I had a major breakdown because of my college exam grades. I was failing my classes despite the effort I was putting into them. I took my medicine that day, hoping it would suppress the tears from coming. But about an hour or so after I took my medicine, I felt absolutely nothing. I felt no anxiety. I felt no happiness. I felt no sadness. My brain had become an empty white room with soundproof walls. There was nothing left. I visited my boyfriend at his apartment that same evening, and he kept a close watch on me. He kept asking me if I was "OK," but I just didn't know how to respond. Foggy. Disoriented. High. Confused. Dazed. You could have used any word of the sort, and it still wouldn't be able to describe properly how the medicines were killing me. Once the side effects wore off, I knew that I didn't want to feel that emptiness ever again.

4. Lessons of Acceptance and Honesty

Without the medication, there were times I felt defeated. Self-soothing and mental health home remedies didn't always do the trick. But using the medications was just a masking process. A doctor diagnoses a patient. They write a note with something they hope will help alleviate the patient's symptoms and send the patient on their not-so-merry ways. For me, I found that anti-depressants were unnecessary. After trying the four largest prescribed types, and finding no working results, I knew that this small little substance was getting me nowhere. It was just a way of bottling my emotions. The meds covered me up and made me seem like an entirely different person.

My advice to others who may consider what I did: There are so many ways to overcome mental health problems instead of popping pills every couple hours in hopes the anxiety attacks and racing thoughts will dissipate. I wrote letters, I went outside, I got a new job and let go of all the toxic people in my life. I knew that I needed to find myself and understand what was happening inside my brain. I know that other mental health patients are not as fortunate and that medication is necessary for some. It took a while to finally feel like I was in control of my own body again. You, my friend, you, the reader... don't be masked by medications. Be young. Find yourself. Give yourself plenty of time to heal. You have one brain and one life to live. Face your problems — think about your decisions and find your inner positivity.

As mentioned above, different mental health conditions require different remedies/treatment. If anyone you know may attempt to go off their medications, be sure to assist them in their journey and ask if they have consulted their mental health medical provider. If you know anyone who may be dealing with a mental health crisis, please don't hesitate to call the following number:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255