Tears Of Gray

“Depression is a flaw in chemistry- not character. How come every other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy, except for your brain? How do you battle in the incurable demons constantly heckling your mind, never giving you a respite? What happens when you succumb to it?” - Paige Barger, Texas Tech Class of 2020

(Photo by Serena Nair)

When you get that phone call- the one no person ever wants to receive- your heart stops. You think, what happened? What went wrong? How the hell could I have prevented this? Last summer, I received a call that one of my best friends was contemplating ending her life, at that moment.. And it frightened me beyond belief. To this day, I remember calling my parents to let them know I had to leave immediately, and hopping straight into my car to head to her home. I remember calling one of our other best friends and telling her get there ASAP. I remember running in, scared of what I might find. And I remember being so beyond grateful and relieved when I was able to leave her house hours later, with her safe and sound in the arms of family and friends.

(Photo by Serena Nair)

We live in a world where depression is the norm. One where people try to hide it, and the ones who smile the most are the ones who suffer the worst. It’s viewed as a weakness, a problem, a choice. Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses in the US. It’s a mood disorder causing sadness and loss of interest that negatively affects the way one thinks and acts. It’s not a decision, it’s a chemical imbalance of the brain. Once triggered, it spirals and makes the person feel worse and worse about themselves.

So to combat depression, we must understand depression. It is not an act for attention. Nor is it someone being dramatic. It’s a reaction to loss, grief, anxiety, and many other life struggles. Alcohol and drug use are a major cause of depression and can even affect the body- People who have parents who allow them to drink are 40% more likely to binge drink in college.It’s difficult for others to understand what depression is, and hard to identify. Most often, a key sign is mood changes, with excessive sadness, guilt, and anxiety. Students often find themselves suffering from a lack of concentration or even slips in grades. They can find themselves easily agitated and thinking suicidal thoughts. They might be hungry and irritable all the time as well as sleeping too much, or even the opposite, suffering from insomnia.

Self injury is also associated with depression. There are multiple methods- Cutting, Burning, Pricking oneself with needles, punching objects, and pulling out hair. People who self-injure are often turning their emotional pain to physical pain as this is their way of letting it out. The body releases endorphins, which are brain chemicals that help the body cope with the pain, and offers as a temporary high that then becomes addictive. In women, self injury is indicative of body image issues. We live in a culture where everyone prefers thinness, and eating disorders are common.

There are so many different types of eating disorders. Anorexia is self imposed starvation. Bulimia is the repeated cycle of out of control eating followed by purging. If we paid attention to the signs we might have seen. There’s excessive exercising, vomiting, and use of alcohol and drugs. It can affect the body through the dental, kidney damage, chemical imbalance, and loss of energy. These are just a few of many that teenagers and adults around the world suffer through.

(Photo by Serena Nair)