You are performing agonizing icebreakers on the first day of English class. After expressing your favoritism for the color blue and penguins you are asked the final question. “What is your favorite season?” You immediately know the correct answer. You don’t choose summer because you are not a sweaty and disgusting monster. You don’t choose winter because you actually enjoy your body heat. And, you don’t choose spring because ew. The correct answer is always and undoubtedly fall. The weather. The holidays. The food.
I may be one week into school in August, but literally DESTROY ME FALL. I am not trying to internalize a basic white girl, but I am exploding with excitement for the upcoming beauty that is FALL. Here’s da reason:
1. Back 2 School
2. The Chilly Clothing Combos
The fact that two people can wear a flannel and jeans and a t-shirt and shorts on the same day is the most unifying event for Northeastern Americans since the Salem Witch Trials! The temperature range of low 50s and high 60s is the best blend of wind and bonfires in this universe. And, the combination of a light hoodie and shorts is LETHAL.
3. Audition Season
As an actor in high school, autumn brings with it the grueling process of auditioning; the fall play is fast approaching, the musical needs pre-auditions, and it is 3 days before when you realize, you’re screwed. Where is my monologue??? I forget every song I have ever heard?!? I could probably dance better in this audition without legs?!?!?!? And, don’t forget your first speech tournament is in a few short weeks!!! But, you get through it, and then the cast list goes up, and all hell breaks loose, and it is completely wonderful.
4. The LEAVES
Everything is dying it has never been more beautiful :,)
5. Football Games on Friday Nights
I hate sports. I hate running. I hate participating in nearly all of them, minus the invigorating pool volleyball and corn-hole. I hate watching televised versions of them. However, some long concealed athlete part of me switches into gear when I am watching my school throw a brown thing along the green thing. There is something about that loud, oh so very loud, atmosphere that makes me feel like a sagacious retired D1 coach. I will follow every student section theme to the highest caliber and when it comes time to cheer, my vocal chords will ache from the countless, “ E-I-E-I-O”s.
6. Pumpkin, Oh How I Love Thee
This is where the aforementioned basic white girl in me goes into full swing, because this big orange fruit-thing rocks my world. Although the pumpkin roll, pumpkin-scented candles, pumpkin pie blizzards, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin tim-bits, pumpkin spice any drink, and pumpkin seeds are fantastic there are only two words that matter… PUMPKIN PIE. Amen.
7. Spooky Specials
It is a fact, that halloween specials are the best episode of any cartoon. (Okay, Christmas specials are slightly superior but only slightly, and this article is about fall). Specifically, the Spongebob spectacular when he is shaved into only a brain and as a result he spooks the unspookable Flying Dutchman. Iconic. And one cannot forgot Charlie Brown’s ode to the Great Pumpkin, our true savior. THESE FILL ME WITH SO MUCH JOY SOMETIMES I FEEL PHYSICALLY ILL. I JUST LOVE HALLOWEEN.
8. HALLOWEEN
Walking into a Joann’s Fabrics, wielding a glue gun as my weapon, I know that it is time to craft the most amazing costume of any Hallow’s Eve. Later, I exit my home, held together by felt and duct tape, grasping a pillowcase in my fist. It’s showtime. Full-sized Twix bars, jack-o-lantern shaped lollipops, fun-sized peanut M&Ms, bat and pumpkin pretzels, gummy eyeballs, and for the unlucky few: 2 nickels and expired raisins flood into my pillowcase.
I am a senior in high school and you bet your bottom dollar I am still taking on the streets for that sweet, sweet candy. HALLOWEEN IS THE BEST HOLIDAY BY FAR. Yeah, gifts are great, but where are the witches? Everything about this holiday is perfect. The orange, purple, green, and black color scheme. The costume parties, and the hilariously sexy-fied women’s costumes. The spookiness. The themed football game. The ghouls. The hot cocoa. The taboo. The halloween-themed snacks. Everything is hauntingly wonderful, and there are officially 71 days until the blessed occasion begins, and the demon inside of me expels from body! AUTUMN CAN NOT COME SOON ENOUGH.
