Anyone who goes to school at the University of Florida can attest to the fact that the shady, concrete area of space located at the heart of campus -- Turlington Plaza -- is probably one of the busiest areas of the college. On any given week day, one can expect to see Turlington packed with students coming from or going to class, as well as people manning tables for their organizations. Then, of course, we have the infamous Turlington Preacher and other older individuals who feel the need to voice their opinion on something that means a lot to them for all to hear.
I am wary of Turlington, and make every possible effort to avoid the crowded area, even if it means making a detour. But, sometimes, a detour simply is not practical. Sometimes, you have a class in Turlington, as was the case for me last semester. So here is how to survive the walk through Turlington with your mental health intact.
Avoid eye contact at all costs. This one works like a charm. Turlington Plaza is a trap riddled with eager students shoving flyers in your face or calling out for your attention so they can capture you in their web. Keeping your gaze averted gives off the impression that you are too lost in your own thoughts to give the people of Turlington the time of day. Ducking your head a bit also helps with this facade of ignorance.
Watch where you are going. As mentioned, Turlington is a crowded place. Don't be that clumsy person who nearly gets trampled by a speeding bike or bumps smack into another person simply because you did not see what was in front of you. Avoiding eye contact while watching where you're going is definitely a challenge that must be mastered with time and practice. One of the tricks that helps make this easier is speed.
Don't stop for any reason. Walk fast. Walking through Turlington is like ripping off a bandaid: a lot less painful if you do it quickly. The probability of being stopped by someone at a table decreases significantly if you don't give them a chance to even try because you are speeding by like the wind.
If caught, pretend you are in a hurry. If these three tips fail and you find yourself ensnared by someone who wants to tell you all about why you should join their organization or fear God, then tap into your inner mean side and don't be afraid to cut them off and tell them you're in a hurry. This is actually true half the time (at least for me), and the people of Turlington understand that we as college students have places to be, classes to get to. They will let you go without a word of protest.
So there you have it: a few tips for how to survive the dreaded walk through Turlington Plaza. The next time you find yourself in need of going through Turlington, you will plunge into that sea of madness and, hopefully, make it out unscathed, maybe a flyer or two.
